AFP Growth and Focus Weekly

Guidance: The Cornerstone of Leadership

Thu, 28 Dec 2023 18:52:21 GMT

If you fail, look at yourself. As a leader, it’s on you. Be willing to adapt and overcome—Then watch your teams shine.

When was the last time you visited a National Park with a guided tour? If you have never done it, I would highly recommend finding one close enough to visit to understand some of the impactful history and gorgeous views this amazing country has to offer.

One thing you will notice when on the tour is how the guide describes the historical significance or landscape and then falls into the crowd until the next move letting the visitors enjoy the views, taking in all the surroundings themselves. It provides a sense of understanding and allows the visitors to take in their own perspective and build their own thoughts on the events or monuments forged in time.

Think of the sled driver in the Alaskan frontier with his dogs pulling his sled through the open plain. He guides the group in the direction needed, and the dogs do their work to bring the sled to motion from start to finish. Look to the farmer, plowing his field guiding the Ox to ensure proper placement of crops. All of these are guiding examples of how direction is needed, but the work beyond vision is placed at the feet—or hooves and paws—of the team in front.

We often have heard the “lead from the front” mantra that is laid out in war movies or real life scenarios, but I would argue that style of leadership doesn’t produce the best results. It allows for teams to hide in the shadows while the leader takes their focus off of directing that team. It pushes the leader into focus more often than it should and can create a position that looks like it hovers above causing dissension and communication issues among the ranks.

From my experience, the best leaders are teachers. They are guides and live within the ranks of their people. It is a person who has the best understanding of the pulse of their business or team by being a part of that team, not a figurehead looking for a photo opportunity.

The best leaders push their people to success by guiding and mentoring them to complete tasks. These leaders support and uplift their teams putting all the glory of success at the feet of the team they lead, and take all the responsibility of failures along the way on themselves.

When a team fails, you fire the coach. When a boat runs aground you fire the captain, not the crew. We hold leadership accountable for losses, and often uplift them for the wins when in reality the process of getting a team to a common goal is a mystery that lacks the science of understanding almost always.

Truthfully it may be the easiest equation we can solve.

How do you motivate others to perform, to push beyond their limits, to achieve things past boundaries that they themselves or others they trust have set? You as a leader must have ego-death and transcend beyond oneself. You have to show care, compassion, and empathy for your people and cause that is beyond a normal level of focus or understanding. You have to be different. You have to dare to be. It will be uncomfortable and won’t always make sense.

It takes trust in the process that is being purpose built. It takes tenacity and an incessant drive that—especially during the times that suck—helps a leader get the dogs to pull the sled.

I recently viewed a short clip of my mentor Darren Hardy speaking on leadership. He spoke to the fact that performers don’t always make great leaders. That being the doer isn’t what leadership is and it is a “completely different set of skills.” There is no better way to say it.

I often have said that finding the right cheeks for the right seats is a major part of being a great leader. As well, providing a firm but trusted vision for your team is a must. It would be easy to replace people instead of focusing on the right fits for that person in your organization. That is what a manager does. Hires and fires to fit their program.

Another favorite saying of mine is that if you have a bad team, a bad group, then two things have happened. Leadership has hired wrong, or you have developed wrong. Both fall to the feet of leadership. It's a responsibility to provide growth and guidance.

A leader will find ways to put the right people in the right places and coach multiple skills to a common goal. In the book Social: Why Our Brains are Wired to Connect Matthew Lieberman speaks to what makes humans so unique in development and the “why” behind our societal climb over other mammals and species. He uses neurological data to solidify the concept that we are meant to be social as humans, and in that “social sector” of the brain we are naturally driven to utilize each other's skills in groups to help in the greater good and survivability of our community. For it all to work, there is always a leader guiding and writing the map.

Lieberman speaks to teams, the military, and businesses that understand that there are social aspects to development and success. Look at the office spaces today, how they are empty in a post-pandemic world, but now many businesses are forcing returns to the office—simply for more production from their employees based on social factors.

In his book Lieberman states “How should team leaders think about the social well-being of their team members? Does feeling connected make people socialize more and work less, or does it make team members work harder because they feel more responsibility for the team’s success? Any team leader ought to know…how the team should be managed.” He is speaking to understanding that social development matters, and everyone having a place in the community matters. This was in 2013—well before our “new world” we live, work and play in today.

This is why we have so many different paths to success in professional and personal categories. No one person shares another's story. We may share time together, but our skills, our beliefs, our differences combining into community are what allows us to grow to the heights humans have on the planet.

To that end, a leader carries a unique skill set in their community, job, team and even with family. They must first find ego-death, understanding they help direct the play and create its contents but will never take center stage. They must see others' skills and build the unique puzzle of human capital that makes the picture worth viewing as a company or team.

As a leader you must be immensely connected with your team. Never to a point of comfort, as you must be willing to coach in tough times, and guide through paths that aren’t always comfortable but will build growth for the greater good. You will have to instruct, drive, guide, and motivate in times that are inconvenient and sometimes extremely tough.

Cold calling on a client is often difficult, but it is a bridge that must be crossed. No ticket, no laundry as they say, and with no cold call there won’t be a paycheck. Hitting personal bests in track times or weightlifting takes pain and agony to the body but the end gain is worth the pursuit. Without leaders coaching and guiding the way, most of those tasks often fail.

As a leader you take on a very unique daily position in life. You must find the grit to push yourself to then push others. You take on a massive responsibility of not creating a team that performs exactly as you do, but one that cohesively uplifts and supports one another with each unique skill that is brought to the table.

Channel your inner Captain Planet and combine good to create great. Along the way though you won’t land a comic book deal or television show. You will, however, see others gain new heights thought previously unachievable and will assist in creating greatness along the way.

If you fail, look at yourself. As a leader, it’s on you. Be willing to adapt and overcome—Then watch your teams shine.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 20:09:13 GMT

We aren’t built to be happy all the time. We are built to pursue it and along the way endure things that create a better understanding of happiness once we land there.

What makes you happy? That answer will change over time and depending on circumstance, but you will notice that the feeling itself is fleeting. It comes and goes as quickly as the brisk wind on a winter's day. So why is it that we all seek the singular feeling of happiness? There has to be more to it—truthfully there is. The pursuit itself is the journey worth talking about and remembering, not just the end result.

When the Founding Fathers penned their names to the Declaration of Independence they acknowledged the following, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Notice that they said “pursuit” and did not promise that you would be happy. There is no certainty in the end result, but the faith that the pursuit of said happiness is guaranteed. It is granted by God but not a promise. I have said often that we were given every emotion for a reason. Sad, happy, angry, fear, surprise—all of them. Without every single one life would be quite unfulfilling and all emotions would lose meaning and intent.

In the movie from 2006 The Pursuit of Happyness Will Smith plays Chris Gardner, a medical device salesman who has thrust his entire life savings into his pursuit of a livable wage through his bone density scanners. This true story to book and then film is played out with extreme emotions for the viewer as Gardner has a wife that leaves him and his young son, gets evicted from their home, and is forced to live in shelters or hotels. At one point they even sleep on the floor of a BART station bathroom.

Gardner never gives up however, and never shows his cards during the movie. He pushes through every roadblock, leaps over every wall, and eventually lands an intern position with a major stock broker. He goes on to win the permanent position in the process over a multitude of others finding success at the end of the road. The real life Chris Gardner went on to be the founder of a brokerage firm in 1987, selling a minority stake in 2006 for multi-millions.

While Gardner found financial success at the end of the film and created a network of wealth for himself along the way, the happiness that he and his young son needed were found in the pursuit of growth. During the moments that seemed dire he showed impeccable resolve and drive seeking the happiness that would provide sustainability for his son and himself.

In one scene he protects his son in the bathroom of the metro station as they fall asleep on the floor, holding him tightly and providing reassurance to him that everything is alright and will be fine. His son sticks by his side and provides hope and drive to keep Gardner moving.

Throughout the film they find happiness in random areas despite their circumstances. Together they build an unbreakable bond and trust that concludes the film with joy for all those with the benefit of watching.

The end result was amassing great success and financial stability for Gardner and his son. The pursuit however is what built the needed tenacity and strength for him to eventually launch his own brokerage firm and find financial stability. Gardner could have easily slipped into a state of despair and depression failing his sphere of influence and ultimately his son along the way.

Despite the many adversities faced the pursuit of the goal helped create a bond that was forged in struggle with his young son, it created massive growth through trials and tribulations that were overcome, and it created everlasting memories of the “where have we been, how did we get here” concept that will make generations thrive long after said events.

What pursuit are you having in your life currently that feels tough—Is it the happiness you seek from work, a relationship, or even happiness that simply comes from having a clear bill of health?

Happiness doesn’t come easy, and it isn’t the end result that we often think it will be. It is a fleeting feeling that comes and goes just like every other emotion that we face daily. We all would like to achieve eternal happiness and live in a perfect world, but I counter that the pursuit and all that comes with it as being more important than the actual ending result. Pushing through the tough times, leaping your personal walls, and forging your way through the tough moments will make the lasting gains more fulfilling.

Life should be and can be fulfilling—it won’t always be happy. Without the pursuit of happiness however, you won’t find any fulfillment. Don’t let a bad day or a lull in the action of life create a place for your mind and emotions to stay. See every moment as a growth point that is needed in your journey that will help forge your eventual fulfillment and ending happiness.

If you don’t remember how you got to where you are when you found that fulfillment, you will easily forget how important the trip along the way has been.

We aren’t built to be happy all the time. We are built to pursue it and along the way endure things that create a better understanding of happiness once we land there. Once the fleeting feeling is gone, you will face other obstacles and trials on your life road, but understanding the pursuit for further happiness—for that fulfillment—will lead to an everlasting result worth that pursuit.

Find ways to create a full pie for yourself, to understand the balance of the wheel of life where all the spokes are built to last. You will have to make repairs at times, but enjoy the process of the repair as it makes your wheel of life that much stronger for the roads you will forge ahead as you pursue your happiness.

What is Love

Fri, 24 Nov 2023 19:48:08 GMT

Make this holiday season a turning point for the better, for the Agape to flow. It will enrich you beyond your highest expectations.

If you are a kid of the 90’s the minute “What is Love” by Haddaway pops on the radio you will begin to bob your head like you are in a remake of A Night at the Roxbury . It is nearly impossible not to if you remember the iconic scene from the film with Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell.

While only some of us may recall the film, most will know the song. The Eurodance mix is impossible not to recognize, but love itself is a word that describes so much to so many, but is often misrepresented and truly misunderstood. The Five Love Languages test is one that I would encourage you to try if you haven’t yet, as it will help define how you feel and seek love.

Through the centuries Greek culture has been known for its philosophy and is foundational in the practice. Names like Aristotle, Socrates, and Plato immediately come to mind. Greek culture has used eight different words to describe the feelings and actions of love while we, and most modern cultures, only focus on the one. Most notably of the eight are Eros, Philia, and Agape.

Eros is in reference to the physical and passionate love of a partner. Philia is based in deep love through friendship and kinship. Agape is the love of all. An unconditional and often called Godly love.

Eros is the most easily defined in my opinion and one that we all have felt or will feel at some point in our lives. It involves physical touch and the connection that is gained through said touch. It is the feeling of butterflies that you feel in your gut when you see a photo of someone you find attractive, feel the touch, or have a kiss or connection physically with them.

It is the easiest love to understand because there is a tangible piece to this Eros type love. How you feel comes from the touch of the one you “love” and it is comforting. It can also be the most dangerous love to play with as the passion that follows can be damaging for the heart. It must be recognized and realized for what it is and not be a shadow that lays over the top of a relationship.

Utilize Eros as an arrow in the quiver of life that you carry. Guard its use deeply despite the freeness we tend to want to give it. It can be the quickest way to damage yourself and others that you touch.

Philia is the example of love in one of its purest forms. It is a love that is bound to friendships and family. One that is built on forging relationships with others, built on compromise, and supporting and uplifted those in your life.

When you look at your friends group and those you care for deeply with no physical connection is where this love lies. Aristotle and Plato differ a bit on this type of love with Plato being of the concept it could become a stronger bond than Eros, as great friendships can lead to physical bonds. For this purpose and discussion the general understanding of Philia and the theme of family and kinship is what I am discussing.

It is a healthy and earned love that is long lasting and creates bonds that are built to last a lifetime. An extension of Philia means “another oneself” and is representative of how we must love ourselves first to truly love others—including family and friends.

Acknowledging that self-love is important and helps to guide our thinking and actions for the betterment of our surroundings is a must to fully participate in this type of love. It doesn’t mean we won’t face adversity where we will question ourselves, but that we should have this love to develop with others so that in those times they will be there to support and uplift us from the folds of despair.

The final love I want to mention is Agape . Agape is what I would consider transcendent love. One that goes beyond oneself and is a total love to others. Some refer to it as “Godly love”, others like C.S. Lewis called it “gift love.” In Latin it is caritas , the root word for charity.

This love may be the most important and least utilized of all. It is a love and care for everyone—strangers included—that leads to charitable giving, soup kitchens, and charities like Toys for Tots . (Shameless plug for the Marine Corps and this amazing organization before the Holidays.)

Having the ability to understand and feel Agape is tough. It is self sacrificial most always but the return is built in the karmic influence it will have on your life. I wrote of living a transcendent life recently and point to self-care being self-destructive understanding Agape is the root of that writing.

We are all here to understand ourselves first, second to understand others, then to transcend to a point where everything we touch is left for the better and cared for completely and unconditionally.

As you walk into and through the holiday season know that so much around you is based on your ability to love and to give it freely. I find it to be the easiest emotion to have, but with every action there are equal and opposite reactions—the Yin Yang effect that Chinese philosophy has brought the world.

Bring a positive light and you will in turn receive that, but even if you don’t know that the return of the energy you give will come back eventually in a way you may never have seen or expected.

Also recognize the different types of love that exist and how to navigate them in your life. Don’t allow yourself to fall short seeking only Eros or becoming settled with just Philia. Seek Agape in all relationships and it will make the Eros and Philia loves that you have more full and complete.

Find the transcendence point that brings unconditional love to every relationship and even those strangers you may not even know the names of. Make this holiday season a turning point for the better, for the Agape to flow. It will enrich you beyond your highest expectations.

Perception is Reality, That Includes You

ian.t.berg@gmail.com (Ian Berg) — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 21:39:31 GMT

Growth will take pain, but through the pain will come triumph.

Growing up my father would often tell my sister and I that “perception is always reality.” For a long time I never truly understood what he meant by saying that, but now more than ever I grasp that concept completely.

How we perceive the world is what our reality is going to be. As well, how we see ourselves is what the world will always see of us. It is the whole “my truth” concept that often comes out negative, but it is a way to display how you feel about a scenario and the people in it. Indeed your truth will become not just yours, but everyone’s around you too.

I have gone through a large part of my adult life making some great decisions for others and not always the greatest for myself. I would think and say that my care for others drove me and I wasn’t what mattered—it was the influence and opportunity for growth I provided for others that did.

That was a half truth if anything, as my perception of myself often became the reality that others would see despite my greatest attempts to provide a positive impact. Think negative, project negative. Think positive—you guessed it—project positive.

As most leaders deal with what we call the “ imposter syndrome ” of I am not enough, it can become difficult to not put those anxieties and fears on the front often. We can do it in our personal lives as well leading to destruction of quality relationships that were not given the true chance of survival.

I have written before and will say again many times over that I am my worst enemy. I want to be the person that provides the largest and harshest critiques to myself so that I can quickly adapt and change my thinking or actions for the better.

However, that can lead to a problem that can easily and quickly get out of hand if not careful. I have lived that in my own life as well. With the triumphs has come the “imposter syndrome” at times, while the failures have led to my thoughts and feelings embracing that concept too deeply and it comes out as an angry honey badger of feelings. One that truthfully is good for no-one—especially myself.

A solid movie from 2010 is Inception . The film stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt among others, and is written and directed by Christopher Nolan. The film is a fascinating tale of corporate espionage that uses an experimental dream-sharing technique to break into someone's thoughts in a dream state and provide alternate realities leading to real-life decisions and consequences.

In the film—which quite honestly is a bit complicated—there are multiple layers of dreams that are stacked to steal ideas and force actions for a business takeover. The plan will lead to an eventual shutdown of a major global competitor through the concept of inception—essentially thought planting into the subconscious of another—and set DiCaprio’s character free of his past crimes as a thief and corporate espionage if completed. Solid win for DiCaprio.

As the movie rolls there are layers of the film, most notably the layer of DiCaprio’s character wanting to live in a world where he is with his children and can move past the loss of his wife to suicide.

Throughout the film it shows a strong dichotomy of choice where DiCaprio’s character—Dom Cobb—builds a crack team and is a major support line for the scheme. He has a talent for “extracting” that is unmatched and his ability to utilize the skill will lead to his eventual “perfect world” where he ends up with his children again.

Despite the talent and the leadership shown, he battles against the memory of his late wife—played by Marion Cottilard—and puts his team in danger in the film using strategies of the layered dreams that create chaos. Towards the finish line of the stacked dreams and close to creating “inception” on their target his wife appears because of his inability to come to grips with his past and threatens the mission of the team, virtually ending the plan in the worst of ways leaving some of the team in a “limbo” dream state.

Cobb couldn’t push past his thoughts of his late wife and speaks to the history and belief that he is the root cause of her suicide. Mal—his wife’s character—appears and tries to put a kibosh on the whole plan. Her projection is killed by the team, and Cobb faces the reality that she chose her fate in life and that while he played a role in what led to it, ultimately it was not his fault. During all this, the inception holds on the target and the characters all awaken to a changed world.

The final scene of the film is a very famous and hotly contested ending where DiCaprio is with his father in Los Angeles and discovers he is no longer on a wanted list as he passes through customs freely.

Did this mean the inception worked and he had survived to reality receiving his reward as a free man? As he checks reality with the totem—a spinning top tool used to determine dream state vs. reality—he fails to watch to see if it drops to prove he has arrived in reality and walks to a balcony and meets his children.

So what reality are you projecting and living for yourself? Clearly we are not living in a thought planting false dream state of corporate espionage and international crime, but our thoughts about ourselves and how we project what we feel is a reality. It is one that is based on perception, and one where we do provide inception moments whether we realize it or not on those around us.

Some of the toughest days can be met with the greatest levels and acts of kindness around you. There are people out there and in your corner that want to see you succeed. Eventually, however, if you project too far into the perception of yourself of “I am not enough” or that you are damaged and create chaos—whether intently or not—others will begin to see that perception as well and make it their reality.

This isn’t you not being able to have a bad day. This isn’t you not understanding that we all face struggles, trials, and tough moments. It is taking the time to spin the top, looking up and around at your surroundings and find the blessings on the balcony.

I have faced that perception of myself more times than I can count. I have projected my pain, hurt, and self-loathing to the point where others have brought it to my attention. In my past it has absolutely hurt my relationships and damaged the perception of the reality I was living. It created a reality I didn’t want and that others didn’t need.

Take time to sit quietly and ask yourself today—How do I perceive myself, and what is that projection doing to the world around me? If the majority of what you see is negative, you will receive negative. If you see and feel positive, you will receive that equally in return.

Being hard on yourself can be one thing, taking it to the level of inception of thoughts to others through your perceived failure is another. Be the very best you can be in every moment. We all will fail. Embrace the times you fall short, but embrace it by seeking to be better and constantly projecting that along the way.

Growth will take pain, but through the pain will come triumph. I promise.

Success is Rented, Rent is Due Daily

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 18:52:48 GMT

Get yourself out of the stuck by embracing the suck of change. The end result will be much better than the position of atrophy that comes with inaction.

Few things in life are more clearly defined than what it takes to be successful. So often we think it is based on luck, family support, money in hand, or some other unreachable or tangible thing that appears unattainable.

It’s not—far from it.

It takes a clear and concise path to a goal and a lot of hard work mixed with tenacity. It takes an unrelenting pursuit of personal excellence with growth, and the willingness to understand that you must adapt and overcome every scenario you face in the journey of life.

Success is rented and that rent is due daily. If you don’t bring that attitude when you wake up no matter what day of the week it is, you will never hit your full potential and achieve what you want for yourself. You don’t deserve anything from anyone, but you owe the world around you that relentless pursuit.

I used to tell my teams and clients that I was like Motel 6, I always leave the light on for you . That meant that no matter what day, what time, or what I was doing. If my people needed me, they could reach me. Can you say the same for yourself?

To find success, you first have to define what that means to you. Is it to see your business grow to new heights, finding a new career and achieving goals within, maintaining growth in your current relationship, or is it losing 30 pounds before the holidays? All goals are equal in what it takes to earn the success you desire.

Getting more money doesn’t define your success path or position. Some of the most successful people I know have plenty of means in the cash department, but it didn’t come by accident. As well, rarely was creating more wealth their goal. The most successful people focus on the overall growth of themselves and everything they are involved with. Once that becomes a perfect circle, the rest falls into place.

Zig Ziglar was an amazing speaker, writer, and salesman. Born in Alabama in 1926 he was raised in Mississippi on a farm outside of Yazoo City. His father passed away at an early age shortly after the move from Alabama with the family, and he went on to drop out of college years later after participating in a U.S. Navy sanctioned training program for officer candidates during World War II.

Despite those adversities, Ziglar went on to become one of the best salesmen and motivational speakers in the past century. His courses are still in use today and during my nearly two decades in sales his instruction played a pivotal role in my success and the companies I worked with.

As I said before, success isn’t defined by just monetary gain—it has so much more to it.

The cornerstone of his training is his “ Wheel of Life ” concept that defines how we can build a life of fulfillment and undeniable success.

Of the seven spokes that he speaks about, only two are based on monetary gain. Career and Financial are two. To round out the wheel the remaining five are as follows: Mental, Spiritual, Physical, Family, and Personal. Career and Financial may round out the seven, but they are not the center focus of his training.

What is the center of focus is how each “spoke” in the wheel represents a core area of life and needs to be equally balanced. We don’t just bake a pie for one slice, we bake it for the entire offering. To that end, the life pie you are baking isn’t just for you, it is to share with those around you.

Many things go into this balance and the seeking of said balance. When one spoke is removed your wheel of life will begin to wobble, and until you set the course for correction it will never fully reach the potential that your life has for you to reach.

How you define your spokes in life is always up to you, but the rent due on the success to get there is due every single day.

I am not going to give a crash course in Ziglar any further, but pay attention to those seven areas of your life and focus on creating positive change every day. Fuel your engine properly to get the kinks out of the performance.

Do you want to lose weight? Get up early and run to start your day. Start slow, build long. Want to be better at your career? Read more and dive into what education tools are around you to make you a more well rounded employee or employer. Is it family? Then take time every day to listen intently and learn the needs and wants of those you love—I promise it will matter and they will care.

It is very easy to get stuck in the rut of life, the daily activities that we all have and ignore the true needs for yourself and those around that bring success. Seek fulfillment, seek growth.

By now you should be getting the drift of the message. It takes daily inputs to get the outputs you want to portray from yourself. You won’t be able to fix every single spoke on day one, but without movement in some direction nothing will change and you will feel stuck.

Jim Rohn said it best when he said “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

Get yourself out of the stuck by embracing the suck of change. The end result will be much better than the position of atrophy that comes with inaction.

Mindset Makes You, Actions Define You

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 15:33:57 GMT

Choose wisely to live a life of purpose, on purpose.

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. How many times have you heard that as you navigated life? I would venture to say it won’t fall short of numerous. I doubt Sir Isaac Newton determined this Law of Motion thinking it would resonate well beyond just physics, but it has.

Our mindset makes us, but our actions will define us. Every single step of our life is determined by our responses that others see, not the mentality that leads to those responses.

Often you will have a great idea, a plan of action, or a novel concept that when displayed to others around you can help guide or fix an issue. There will also be times that that mindset will become a failure once put into action.

I would argue that most of us don’t have ill intentions to the world around us, but there have and will be times that your actions haven’t played out how you saw them working in the ole noodle upstairs. How you pivot from those actions, reassess, regroup, and then change is what will define you.

So many times in my life I have had great concepts and thought there is no way this can go wrong. I have pulled the trigger on that mindset, put it into action and done damage to those I touched along the way. I have also stood there as I watched the building burn going there is no way that was my fault—in reality it all was.

It is very simple to look at those around you and find faults or flaws in the execution that they bring to the table when playing out your guidance, or maybe someone just interpreted what you said wrong, putting you in a bad position when it comes to the actions brought forth.

Those are the moments that are the toughest to overcome. That is when the realization will set in that the results you saw coming don’t, and your response becomes negative, doubling down on the problem and making things far worse.

Most recently I led a very successful and tenacious sales team in the beer industry. When I first started I was no-nonsense and what I like to call edgy, and at times a bit abrasive. In reality I could be a huge asshole and very tough to work for.

One of the first hires I ever made has risen to unbelievable heights in his personal consulting business over just a few short months after his departure from the company, but I will always look back on him and wish I could have approached some things differently.

I consider that rockstar to be one of my very closest and best friends to this day. He is one of the handful of people that know every single thing about me and we speak daily—sometimes multiple times a day. Still, if you asked him I would be willing to bet he would say there was a massive change in me over the two years we spent as co-workers that led to our deep friendship.

What I had to learn over time was that just because I thought something would work or that a strategy should be flawless at execution I could be wrong. At times with every single aspect of the plan. The more I stepped back and would listen to his views and understand the vision provided from our minds coming together made us exponentially stronger than just blindly following my lead.

My mindset may have told me one thing, and that tenacious approach never changed. It still resides between my ears today. What I learned, however, was that despite those tendencies I could listen and evaluate prior to taking action. I needed to concern myself with the environment, mission, and execution better through a team style approach—not just to practical application but to the planning phase as well.

As our company and team grew to a Top 50 performer in the craft beer space we expanded exponentially. I had to learn to adapt my coaching style and approach for each individual based on their mindset and ability. I had to listen and learn their tendencies so that we could get the best results possible in their respective markets.

I have often said and truly stand by the conclusion that there is no such thing as a bad employee in a business. There are only bad leaders and managers.

If I had an underperforming employee there were two options that led to that problem or lack of growth. Myself or my people had hired wrong—our fault—or we had failed to train properly. Again, our fault as leaders and managers.

This doesn’t mean that every single person in an organization is in the right seat—after all, finding the right cheeks for the right seats is what success is based on. But that again falls to leaders and managers to ensure that if the fit is wrong, move them to where it is right. If it still isn’t working, separate from that person.

The same can be said in your personal life, not just business.

You will bring people into your life that will affect you and the way you think or act. You will also have people that you will do the same for them. Your mindset may not always be the best and your actions will show it. Again, those actions and reactions will be what defines you, not how you think or feel that it should.

A basic sales concept is to listen 80 percent of the time and to speak 20. Apply that daily in your interactions and you will see a noticeable change in the way you think and operate.

The saying goes we may not be here for a longtime, but let's be here for a good time. The only way to ensure that it's a good time as often as possible is to adapt your mentality and how it makes you so that your actions can define you properly. Just because we think it is a good idea doesn’t always make it so.

I have failed more than I can count in life. I have failed my sphere of influence at times as well. Almost always it was based on my mindset being set and my actions being unwavering. What a selfish life to live—and truly I have lived it on occasion.

The best way to provide the community around you with the best possible impact is to ensure your actions define you properly. That you use every opportunity to show care, thoughtfulness, and provide a listening ear to those that want to speak and share—especially when initially you may disagree.

Be open and willing to change, think before you speak, and act intently. People won’t know your mindset and often won’t care about the reasoning behind your actions. They will, however, see those actions and that is what will define you. Choose wisely to live a life of purpose, on purpose.

Self Care is Self Destruction

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 16:12:08 GMT

We get a life to give ours away.

I have always hated the “self care” phrase and what goes along with it. From the first time I heard it I thought of how selfish the self care concept seemed. After long investigation personally—including engaging in the “self care” that most of us think of—I have solidified that stance.

The conclusion is self care will lead to self destruction.

I am not talking about not getting that massage or having the pedicure. This isn’t about taking time for yourself in thought and meditation to find a balance, to pray and think of those in your life and sphere of influence. As well, this isn’t about not having things for yourself that you enjoy or avoiding showering yourself with gifts when you want.

The self care that I am referring to is what leads to selfishness and influential demise. A care that seems like a great concept and is sold to you as a necessity for survival. Something that we all must have to ensure that we can be our best self. Well, to be the bearer of bad news to you it won’t lead to your best self and will create dissension that leads to destruction. The whole love yourself concept will fail you, and fail you epically.

This is about being a person that seeks transcendence and becoming the best impact on the world you live, work, and play in.

I never want to have that self care or self love. I never want to be my best friend, I would prefer to be my own worst enemy. By being my worst enemy I will constantly battle myself to improve, push past boundaries, and it allows me to provide unconditional care to others. If you love yourself more than those around you it will create false relationships and quite frankly a baseless existence.

The sooner I realized that position the better I have become to others. The anger I would feel when someone wasn’t doing their job, was being contriving, or even tossing up roadblocks in a “just because” way was negative on myself and everyone and the things I touched. It was all rooted in selfishness and how it made me feel, not the impact that was being made on the world around me.

We can’t control others or their feelings, but you can control yours. No one can make you feel anything, that is up to you and your emotions alone. When I was in the Navy I had a LPO that would say “your delicate sensibilities are yours and yours alone, get over it.”

Sounds crass right? It is in a way, but it also is true. You control your thoughts and feelings despite what the world may have handed you.

To be clear, we will all fail at this. We will all succumb to selfishness that arrives when we get hurt by things said or done—but your job is always to react positively and seek the best outcome for you and everything around you.

Through my largest adversities have come my biggest triumphs. Most if not all of those adversities were rooted in self love or care. Truthfully the triumphs never were.

Paul the Apostle—yes that one, from the Bible’s New Testament—is a fascinating story of shifting from self love, self care, and selfishness to ultimate selflessness. Paul was an early persecutor of Christians and was very openly against the teachings and followers of Jesus. At one point around approximately 31-36 AD he had an epiphany with a vision on the road to Damascus and had a major change of heart.

After that change he dedicated his life not to self care, but ultimate love of others. In a letter to the Philippians he says in Philippians 1:21-22 “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.”

This guy went from hating a teacher and his teachings to embracing the selflessness and transcendence he saw on that road to Damascus. In seeking that transcendence himself he changed his stars dramatically. He shifted his gears to become a bigger and better impact because his self care and self love had vanished. It was those he was able to impact that mattered more.

Another great in history Abraham Maslow —an American psychologist—said the following, “Transcendence refers to the very highest and most inclusive or holistic levels of human consciousness…behave and relating…as ends rather than means…to oneself, to significant others, to human beings in general, to other species, to nature and to the cosmos.”

Darren Hardy put it best when referring to that statement when he said “We get a life to give ours away.”

We can live a selfish life pretty easily and still think we are doing good. We can search and seek out things that will make us happy and the results can drip to others around us—but is that what you really want your impact to be? Just a “by default” impact, or one that will leave a lasting, resonating impact on everything and everyone. We should want a life that goes far beyond the dates that began and ended with you, where the hashmark in between matters so much more.

I live for the hashmark—honestly I haven’t always. We can only provide ourselves with so much fulfillment. You only have so much time in a day, so much impact, and only one body and one brain.

When you truly seek transcendence and avoid the self care and self love lie you begin to love on others in a way that seems unimaginable and quite frankly almost stupid. It is unnatural to begin with, after all we are built to survive.

I would argue you will do more than just survive when you begin to share the light you have intently and freely with others. Your impact will return tenfold on you beyond what you could achieve alone. Our best self doesn’t come from anything other than the love and care of others.

Build your team carefully—it’s the only way to truly win and create the impact that will have your hashmark being the discussion at your funeral. What are the things that you leave behind that matter? It is your voice, your heart, and your soul that you can pour into others. Not the house, the watches or the handbags.

Consider it your duty to be better and leave everything you touch better than you found it or it found you.

Who Is Your Sphere of Influence & How Does it Affect You

Thu, 02 Nov 2023 16:37:22 GMT

Be the change you want to see–the rest will fall into place.

I can confidently say that you have heard the “you are who you hang out with” statement over the years. I know that growing up it was something that I heard often about friends and choices that were made with them. It usually came after bad decisions for me and during discipline that resulted from those decisions.

Who you surround yourself with will influence you and all outcomes in life, no matter how large or small the results may be.

The concept of the herd or mob mentality is an extreme example of this. Think of protests that turn violent, religious beliefs that become extreme creating unhealthy or unhinged indoctrinations, and social boundaries that lead to racist and cultural divides.

Often after these groups are disbanded or separated from the cause, individuals will open up and admit that they weren’t completely convinced of the “right” or “wrong” being displayed or lived out, but rather they were trying to be involved and fit in with the surrounding group for acceptance. The power of the “I want to be a part of something” is a strong philosophy displayed more than you realize or may be willing to admit.

Most always the extremeness of the “fitting in” mentality doesn’t represent cultish tendencies or results, but it can have the same major impact on your life.

Hang out with negative people, you will become a negative thinker. If you surround yourself with successful business minded individuals, the likelihood is that you will begin to pick up on their habits and tendencies as well. It seems like a simple concept, but it is a difficult practice in action.

One of my favorite movies when I was in college years ago was “How High” with Method Man and Redman. If you know me well, there should be no surprises here. The movie is absolutely hilarious and is based on Ivory—played by Chuck Davis—passing away unexpectedly and Silas—played by Method Man—using his ashes in a cannabis plant to honor his memory.

Ivory returns as a ghost and shows himself to Silas and Jamal—played by Redman—when they are preparing to take college entrance exams. Ivory explains that using his ashes in the plant has created a link to the spiritual world in which Ivory has met everyone in history. Because of that connection he helps them ace the college entrance exam landing them in Harvard.

Just before they begin to light up the Ivory strain Jamal says “I figure if I study high, take the test high, get high scores!” This is when Ivory shows himself and reveals the newfound ghost assistance that lands them those high scores.

While that would seem like a borderline stupid philosophy, that is exactly what you are telling yourself when you are surrounded with mediocrity or failure. Unfortunately we don’t have a magic blunt to smoke that will bring about epiphanies for success with ghost’s of former friends who meet Benjamin Franklin in the afterlife.

Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals seems to make sense, but that leads to atrophy of thought and will lack growth. Surrounding yourself with others that are from different walks of life, have different philosophies on said life, and come from different backgrounds is a great way to diversify thought and action.

We need to bring curiosity to every occasion. Seek out an understanding of why others feel the way they do and bring humility with that curiosity. We will all change our minds through time, but to see proper change and create the best sphere of influence around you, conversations with discovery must have both.

That is the only way we learn from each other as well as bring the best effect of change and growth to the group you surround yourself with.

Additionally, you must be willing to study what interests you and bring discernment with application to your sphere of influence. You have to provide the light you want to project, not constantly seek for the light to brighten you from the outside in. Making sure that you bring a positive influence and solid educated voice to conversations is critical. Listening to those around you and engaging with humility is the way to hit the finish line with a win.

So to answer the looming question, your sphere of influence is clearly defined above as the people you live, work and play with. Working with may not always be a choice, but it is still a vital part of who you become and the ideas you represent.

Who you spend your free time with is the most important as it will be the group that helps define your daily characteristics and habits. Your habits will have a compounding effect on who you become and perceive yourself to be.

There will be times in life where you modify and change that sphere of influence. There will also be times where you must completely remove yourself from a group for the betterment of yourself and those in it.

It is easy to sit in the normal, accept your current status or standing in life and pass it off as “it is what it is.” Truthfully that saying will root you in failure and lead to the worst possible outcome.

Embrace the suck of change and modify your daily achievements as needed, finding growth along the way. The people that you surround yourself with should acknowledge the growth and want to be a part of it. If not, move yourself to another group.

The easiest day will always be yesterday. Finding your best impact on the sphere of influence around you will affect you and those you touch more positively than you may ever recognize. Champion curiosity with humility and be your best self.

Be the change you want to see–the rest will fall into place.

Live Limitless

Sat, 28 Oct 2023 18:29:36 GMT

You will always be your only roadblock in this adventure we call life.

Everyday we awaken to choices. You likely choose to start your day by making your bed and brushing your teeth, then move on to whatever tasks prepare you for the day. If you aren’t doing those very basic things, start over, then finish reading this.

We all have our routines that we walk through, but which part of that routine is stopping you from living limitless?

Living limitless isn’t about doing everything that you want or desire. Let’s be honest—often what you want isn’t what you need. I have wanted and gotten many things in life that were not the best for me, and surely didn’t create the results on my sphere of influence and world as expected.

To live limitless is about understanding that your limits are always set by you, and the drive that you have to achieve more for yourself comes from deeply within your heart and mind. It truly is all up to you. You will always be your only roadblock in this adventure we call life.

A great film in 2011 called Limitless starred Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro. Cooper plays Eddie Morra, a struggling writer looking for motivation. Early in the film he meets with his ex-wife’s brother Vernon who passes along a nootropic drug known as NZT-48. The drug turns his life around and increases his mental acuity creating a “Limitless” opportunity at life.

Newsflash: there is no secret pill to take that will get you to be limitless—it’s changes in patterns and choices in your daily activity that will get you there.

We all get sore from the workout or that long run. The question is do you wake up and go back the next day, or sit by the edge of the bed in the morning and convince yourself that today it isn’t in the cards. I haven’t met a single person that won’t lack motivation at times—the difference is how you face that personal adversity, get your ass up and make moves towards success. Especially when it sucks. Truthfully that’s when it matters the most.

As I traversed through Naval gunnery school at TSC Great Lakes in the early 2000’s our instructors would speak to “embracing the suck.” In their books on leadership and development The Dichotomy of Leadership: Balancing the Challenges of Extreme Ownership to Lead and Win and Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win former Navy SEALs Jocko Willink and Leif Babin speak to this concept of thinking often.

There is another book built entirely around the mantra, Embrace the Suck: The Navy SEAL Way to an Extraordinary Life by Brent Gleeson.

Life is constantly going to throw roadblocks that are unexpected your way. Those are usually the easiest to overcome. They become present with an explosive discovery in your life that must be handled right then or there receiving all the focus and attention you have at that time.

The hardest roadblocks to overcome are the ones you put before yourself—often purposefully whether you want to admit it or not. You will always be your worst enemy when it comes to progress and living limitlessly simply because the only person you have to convince to have a lack of motivation is you. That is often the easiest sale you will ever make.

I have spoken to this example before and often, but it fits so well here again. Darren Hardy in The Compound Effect speaks of Beverly, a salesperson at an educational software company he was advising in the past.

She opened up about how a friend was set to run a half-marathon and how she “could never do such a thing.” Beverly—who was overweight at the time—said that she “got winded going up a single flight of stairs” and there was no way she could ever join her friend in the half-marathon pursuit.

Darren asked her what the motivation would be for a change to begin running and achieve that half-marathon status. Beverly shared that her twenty year high school reunion was looming and said “I want to look fabulous.” After having her second child she said it had been hard to hold off weight she had gained over the previous five years.

The first step was finding motivation, the second was building a plan to get a functional change in her sights, then make daily moves towards her goal. After mapping a one-mile loop in her neighborhood Darren told Beverly to “walk the loop three times over a period of two weeks.” She then moved to a jog for as long as she could, walking the rest. At seven weeks she could jog the whole mile loop non-stop multiple times a week.

She then began adding an eighth of a mile to each run—only roughly 300 more steps—and within six months was at the nine mile mark comfortably. Nine miles. That is a drastic shift in just six short months. Going from not being able to take a set of stairs to eventually hitting 13.5 miles in nine months time began with a focus, a basic plan, and then consistency in her daily activity to change it. Her winded stair climbs that limited her life became limitless for Beverly.

When we go to the gym we all start with a base “max” but you keep lifting in small incremental gains to grow that max-out effort. No one hits the bench and says “I can hit 225 and I am totally fine with that.” So why are you doing that in your daily life beyond just your exercise routine?

It is time to take action if you truly want to live limitless. I know that for me I often battle the brain game we play with ourselves and our motivation. So many things come naturally to me and afford me the ability to “get away” with being better than average—even if it is me at my mediocre.

I can point to numerous times in my life that I could have done more, achieved more, and left a better lasting impact on my sphere of influence than I did because I simply could hit the expected target and then quit. That is far from living limitless.

We all have choices to make. It is also easy to make choices and live in mediocrity making excuses along the way. Don’t be an excuse maker, embrace the suck, and make those little changes needed in activity to hit your “half-marathon” in life.

The faster you win the battle within is the faster your life will change from settled to limitless.

Mistakes Make Us, Lack of Change Breaks Us

Wed, 25 Oct 2023 13:55:31 GMT

You are your only competition, today is you against yesterday. Make it better.

We all make mistakes. You likely have made one within the last 24 hours. You know what the good news is though—you should be making mistakes. The bad news comes when you don’t make changes to those patterns or choices as that will lead to ultimate and unreturnable failure.

Darren Hardy is a mentor to me and has been for years now. It started when I first read the book The Compound Effect in 2017 and has continued with his daily mentoring, seminars and other books he has written along the way.

Recently in one of those he said “You are your only competition, today is you against yesterday. Make it better.”

That quote alone has become one of my favorites. We fight battles each day against ourselves and that is tough enough. When you begin comparing yourself to others you lose sight of the most important piece of your growth—you.

Warren Buffett is a pretty ambitious guy. If you don’t know the name I would be surprised, but to clarify he is the seventh wealthiest person on this planet. He is an investment sage that has set the standard often for market trends, capitalization and growth in numerous business sectors, and is the current chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway.

Buffett took until the age of 55 to reach millionaire status. He famously is frugal with his spending, avoiding the “keeping up with the Joneses” concept we often see in others. As it stands today as last reported by Jeannine Mancini with Yahoo! Finance, he is still driving a Cadillac XTS, model year 2014.

When asked why he chose the vehicle he stated that “I picked out the car I have based on the fact that it had airbags on both sides.” Profound. Not the look, the make, the model or who else was driving one. He didn’t base it on anything more than safety.

He famously has said “the big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an inner scorecard, or an outer scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an inner scorecard.”

Call me nuts, but I think you have the balls to make it here by quickly figuring out that his advice is strong and should be analyzed immediately for yourself. So what is your scorecard?

Is it the car you have to match your neighbors? The new handbag and watch, or have you made the move to determine and understand that while having things is great, comparing yourself and success to others is not the way to find more and grow.

Taking a deep dive into who you are and your personal goals is sometimes tough to do. It is a focus that has to carry an equal dose of love and hard criticism. You have to be willing to answer to your failures and be willing to make changes so that you can find the evolution needed for growth beyond your current standing.

In another recent teaching session by Darren Hardy he speaks to Charles M. Schwab, the CEO of Bethlehem Steel Corporation and his choice to seek out Ivy Lee as a business consultant in 1918 to help increase productivity and growth—something that Thomas Edison said was Schwab’s most notable trait, being a hustler.

Lee met with Schwab and refused payment up front for his executive training service, confident it would work. When Schwab asked what Lee wanted for his services prior to training Lee said in six months pay me what you believe to be the value of my training.

After spending just 15 minutes with each executive of the largest ship builder and major steel manufacturer at the time, Lee walked away exponentially richer whether he realized it at the time or not.

His training was very simple—write down six tasks at the end of each day that you must accomplish. Tomorrow, focus on the first until completion. Then move to task two, and three and continue until you hit none remaining. If a task floats to the next day, so be it, but use your task orientation wisely and don’t divert. This became the “Ivy Lee Method” of productivity.

The basics were simple according to Hardy—“use simple rules to guide complex behavior.”

The value became so apparent to Schwab and his team that he wrote Lee a check that would equal approximately $400,000 today for the short 15 minutes of time with each executive. Talk about ROI for Lee.

This method is similar to one of my favorites, the “Eisenhower Matrix” and is all about understanding the tasks before you, how focus is key to invention and growth, and how creating consistent habits in your approach to your day are a must. You also must have depthful planning and understand the correlation with proper planning and success.

You will have failures that happen in your life. How you address them and grow, becoming better tomorrow than you were today is the only way to capture the success you seek. Get to where you can have what you want but not because someone told you that you should or it has become an outside expectation.

Understanding that mistakes will happen, missteps are headed your way and that some are tied to simple habits is one of the biggest indicators and changes needed for your future.

Task yourself properly every day, understand your focus and drive should be that inner scorecard and not the outer scorecard, beat your yesterday and the success will come.

Compounding those good decisions will lead to masterful results.

The Power of Referrals: Why Relationships Matter and Price Won’t

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 16:32:37 GMT

If you aren’t able or willing to be the least important person in the conversation you will fail miserably at most things in life whether it be sales or relationships.

What’s the price? That’s a common question that you will hear during a sales call, but quite frankly, often the price doesn’t actually matter. It is a trigger mechanism to provide the client a no to the presenter. Keep in mind, most often people will say no comfortably three to four times during any concept presentation.

That could be no to a beer sale, no to the car salesperson, or a no on that first date attempt.

This is bigger than just selling a product, this covers every daily interaction in life. You must build a healthy response to objection—habits that transcend a job and turn them into habits in every walk of your life.

Everything we touch—especially time—has inherent value. How you determine that value isn’t just based on monetary conditions, and price almost always has no bearing at all. Coffee's for closers, this is how you can land that daily cup of Joe.

When price does matter and is the only closing focus, how do you overcome a price objection and maneuver outside of the assumed block of the expense and still get a win?

There are strategies abound that will show you different ways to address common objections that you will come across. I have often said to my teams that in a good sales presentation where you know that your product or service is the right fit, a “no” just means “not right now.”

Consistency is a valuable key to success.

That mentality is what will lead to gaining more in your life, your business and beyond. Not giving in to the easy out or first objection creates a rapport that will open the door to a lasting opportunity well beyond the initial offering of product or service.

Our natural reaction is often to find the least path of resistance possible. It is how we are engrained and taught early on to operate in life. Process thinking alludes to this by finding a starting point that is basic, then working your way through discovery to find the solution to the problem at hand—scaling up as you go. But what happens when this solution isn’t so apparent or when it seems to be impossible to find?

You keep going. If you don’t, you lose.

The first thing to recognize is that through every interaction you face you are beginning a discovery mode together. We ask questions to get answers, but more importantly you listen to those answers to understand them, not just hear them.

One of the biggest issues most face with objections is they simply talk too much and too often. It’s the recognized 80/20 rule that exists. Someone will talk 80 percent of the time, the other 20. That means that someone is listening to 80 percent. You have to bring this intention to every conversation you have unless you are teaching or in “presentation mode” from a stage.

Those events are rare unless you are a paid public speaker or teacher of some sort. So, sit down, ask the questions, then shut up and listen.

If you aren’t able or willing to be the least important person in the conversation you will fail miserably at most things in life whether it be sales or relationships.

People want to be heard, they want to share—especially in a scenario where you are trying to be or want to be the “fit” for their needs. To truly build a lasting relationship with a client or prospect this is the key to the whole kingdom—you must not only be willing to share and be open, but listen intently so that you can replay, consider, and help provide a solution for the need that is presented.

So when I say that relationships matter and price doesn’t, what I mean is that the best sales are made over and over again. They start with a point of initial contact, but then roll much further beyond the expected end point.

To get that residual sale, the follow on business or fulfillment begins and repeats with listening with intent. I have said before that some of the best sales made are to people that never bought my product or service—they were the relationships I created along the way through the path of discovery.

Listening intently and understanding the need, then despite my inability to be the “fit” I was still able to become the “guy” through the trust and understanding paved along the way. If you truly provide your most valuable asset to someone—your time—with no concern other than helping them by finding the right “fit” it will pay more dividends than you could ever imagine.

In the end that is what you are seeking. It isn’t the hard close that is often taught. It is finding the right answer for you and the client before you which isn’t always you. Going through a strong needs analysis will provide you with ways to help, and likely you have a connection somewhere to someone, or something that will be of assistance.

If that happens to be a better priced product—so be it. The eventual end result will be much more long lasting. I want a snow boulder, not a snowball. To get there it begins and ends with listening and digesting the things that are being laid out before you so you can begin the roll down the hill, not just toss a handful of snow at once.

This takes patience and absolute care. Everyone you touch will be able to recognize your true intentions so you must have a deep found honesty to the process. The minute you find that, your plate will be full enough to share.

Welcome to Sales, You Are One Whether You Like It or Not

Fri, 20 Oct 2023 14:24:32 GMT

Be righteous in your pursuits and do the best you can to provide value at all times. That is how you become the best version of yourself. The best salesperson for your “product” of life.

It is time to finally share the worst hidden secret in your life with you—everyone is a salesperson, and everyone works every day to sell something. Yep, that includes you.

The faster you understand that you are a salesperson in every aspect of your daily life, the faster you will find a way to dial in that skill and utilize yourself better through every presentation you make.

Think about every job interview you ever had. You sold yourself as an expert or great fit for the role you were seeking. Look at the kid in the candy aisle negotiating at six years old with their parents over their need for the gummy bears. What about the first date, when you put on your best show to the possible future significant other by proudly presenting your painting of life to them like Bob Ross—fast, beautifully designed, and full of charisma.

Now think of the car dealership or interaction between an industrial bearings salesman and their future heavy hitting account or fleet car deal. All sales.

You will always be selling yourself or something as a means to an end to get what you want in life or career. This is bigger than products pushing as the usual concept of sales goes, and is beyond what most understand the role to be.

Most professional salespeople don’t even understand or recognize the simple concept of the ABC’s of life—Always Be Closing.

Countless books are written on strategies and sales concepts for the profession of selling that speaks to sentence structure, product over price, process oriented presentations and the like.

After spending nearly two decades of my life in professional sales of some sort, I am here to tell you it is way simpler than all of that. In addition, most of that is garbage that can be thrown out your proverbial life window as you finish this sentence.

I have told my teams countless times that the best sales presentation I have ever seen is the petulant child in the grocery store begging for the new toy or candy for the next kick of sugar they don’t need. I told them to find that inner child and be that often.

Why? Isn’t that a bad thing to be? Yes and no. The key to that concept is the never-ending focus and desire. The drive and lack of understanding the no and seeking the yes beyond the first, second, fifth shutdown. How often have you pacified someone because they simply wore you down?

Now take that attitude and sprinkle in kindness and a genuine desire to listen. When you listen you begin to understand the reason behind the no and can begin focusing on building the value of the how and why.

That is where most often we run the train off the rails. We hear a no, face a no in life, a roadblock of any kind and turn to find the path of least resistance. Call the next client, move on to an easier date prospect, decide that the original want and need wasn’t actually what you wanted so I’ll just settle.

That is a common theme today and has been for centuries. Shit gets hard—most people quit.

So don’t be most people. Be the winner you want to be and set your goals for achievement higher. Failing to recognize your life is full of lost sales opportunities will lead to a very unfulfilled and baseless existence.

Sounds harsh and heavy, but it is as true as the air we breathe having oxygen in it.

So how do you turn that page and live a full life of gains? One where you know you have done and achieved your best, and along the way left your mark on the community around you in the greatest way possible?

In “If You’re Not First, You’re Last: Sales Strategies to Dominate Your Market and Beat Your Competition” by Grant Cardone he speaks to the consistency of follow up past a no.

He focuses on a study by Thomas Publishing Company that states “most salespeople, regardless of the industry, give up too early. According to the study, 80 percent of sales to businesses are made on the fifth sales call, but only 10 percent…call beyond three times.”

I would argue most people approach life the same way. Likely with less attempts at the object of their desire or need. If trained salespeople give in that soon, imagine what the untrained and unsure person will accomplish.

There is another book that’s pretty famous that provides similar insight. It's The Bible . In Matthew 7:7 Jesus says “Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

This isn’t a new found concept. It is simply one where most of us will choose to ignore the facts laid out before us because the thought of selling comes with bad connotations. You know the phrase “just like a used car salesman.”

I have heard it a ton and have actually been a used car salesman. Imagine that. But that phrase is a reference to how it is assumed a used car can be a bad purchase that is pushed on someone despite the right “fit” they may want or need.

To be a good salesperson, to be a good human for that matter, you don’t hock bad products or services. You shouldn’t want or need to seek bad results for others. The residual gain from future buys or referrals is the lifeblood of any sales business and in life you may get the one sale you want right then, but with ill-intentions or a failure to follow through as promised it will lead to ultimate demise of character and extreme lack of success.

You must first acknowledge that everything we want isn’t what we need. It also may not be what is wanted or needed for those around us. To go from bad to good and then good to great you have to bring great intentions.

Recently in a sales forum on LinkedIn I said the following about price or product:

“If you think price drives a sale, you unfortunately are an order taker and not a salesman. Always find and demonstrate value. As well, acknowledge you or your product may not fit—if not help create a solution plan. Some of the best referrals aren’t (from) sales made, they are the ones you helped find solutions and created everlasting value for.”

Now think of yourself as that product. Sometimes recognizing we aren’t the right fit is the best thing for us. Understanding that what we may seek isn’t the best fit for us is a part of that as well.

Be righteous in your pursuits and do the best you can to provide value at all times. That is how you become the best version of yourself. The best salesperson for your “product” of life.

One of the best in-action salesmen I have ever been around is a guy named Blake Levison. When I met Blake in a Home2Suites lobby in Orlando, Fla. for his job interview years back, he was my best option for a new role in an expansion city for our beer company. He was my only option to be frank.

Blake had been in the hospitality business previously and had amazing connections—still does. I saw that, recognized that and swung for the fences on a guy that didn’t recognize his ability to sell just yet.

The first rule I taught my guy was Jameson Irish Whiskey helps calm the nerves before big presentations. The second rule I taught him was be yourself, care for people and build relationships. Never be an asshole, be “the guy” for everything they need and not just your products and the rest will fall into place.

It’s the under promise, over deliver mantra.

After two week runs at a time over a period of about three months Blake went from being a serviceable guy to the one that owns the Central Florida market in the beverage industry today. I didn’t build some crazy machine, I simply helped him find the understanding that in life we aren’t a product of our environment—we can create and build the environment we seek.

It takes honesty, great communication and consistency. It takes analyzing the “no” and finding the “yes” whether it's his products for the fit or not. It is all about providing the right solution.

The instant you begin to see yourself as a salesperson in life you will begin to sell and not be sold. You will achieve what you heart wants but along the way you will fulfill others as well. We are all in sales whether you like it or not, the quicker you find that determination the faster your cup will overflow.

Who is a Leader, Who is a Manager, How You Can Be Both

Wed, 18 Oct 2023 20:51:07 GMT

Plan to work, work the plan, plan to adapt.

Becoming a manager is a tough job. It is a role that often is sought until the position is filled, finally realizing that the duties and sometimes chores that follow are not inline with what you would have expected. The good news is, it is often just that—a job.

Being a leader is much different and something that I would argue is more of a calling and engrained in an individual, not just a position you seek. To lead you must always be willing to sacrifice yourself while supporting and uplifting those around you despite your present circumstances.

This is not normal. It cuts against the grain of basic survival thinking and is something that like Maybelline used to tell us in their classic ads , maybe you're just born with it. In fact, I would say you are.

In my past I would often hear sales trainers and others speak to leaders and managers being different people. How a leader and a manager can’t or won’t be the same.

While I agree that not all managers are leaders—often few are as there are management positions aplenty in the world—leaders can be great managers when setting proper goals, expectations and understanding their limitations along the way.

The two personality archetypes that build great managers and leaders won’t always overlap, and often we find strong leaders in the ranks—not just leading the teams or setting goals.

So how do you discover what you are, what your role should be and how you can develop into the best version of one or both of these things?

Being a Leader

Being a leader is an easy place to live if you are meant to be one. Self sacrifice for others will be natural. Your care for growth in others supported by you will be a drive that is undeniable. One that with nearly every action you take represents the goal of supporting and uplifting everything and everyone you touch.

You will want to provide care to those in your sphere of influence and the growth with support that you help those obtain—even in the smallest of events or circumstances—will provide you with personal affirmation. It will “fill your cup” and drive you further in life and career.

At that point of understanding your personal growth will be an aside—a value-add to you. It's an addition to the calling of ensuring your position in the world is maintained and your purpose is recognized.

Have you ever sat and thought how truthfully content you were to see others succeed? Has it ever been at a time when you may have wanted a position, a role in a play or a starting position on a team? Better yet, have you ever faced the adversity of watching others grow beyond you but the deeply rooted fulfillment came anyway—not spite or jealousy of your lack of outward achievement.

If you can honestly answer those questions with an unequivocal yes then the likelihood you are a leader would seem pretty strong. If you answer with a no, I want that position or gain anyway, then clearly you have missed the mark.

You know what though, that’s absolutely ok. Not everyone is meant to be a true leader. No one will despise you for not pushing a promotion aside to help them achieve it. Most won’t want to understand. They likely will be questioning the “why” behind your actions right after they say “thank you” for the preparation and gain.

Again, there is nothing wrong with not having that trait, but if you question whether you have it or not you are more than likely leaning to the yes side of the Ouija board of life. If so, embrace it! Be willing to do what you are called to do in that very situation, not what everyone around you may impress upon you.

The greatest leaders are often marked by massive sacrifice. You must have a will to give everything away except yourself. That can be a tough pill to swallow.

Being a Manager

Being a manager is much more clear cut. You are tasked with setting goals, understanding and labeling boundaries for your teams and pushing production by finding the proper process with follow on implementation and to-market strategy.

Your role is to provide duties and structure to your teams. You must have a firm understanding of the achievements that are desired for your group, as well as have the guts and demeanor to push others. Sometimes you have to push others beyond comfort, but that is how the role works.

I would also venture to say that you must always be prepared for Murphy's Law to show itself, and have planned for it to occur.

In my past I have used this phrase often: Plan to work, work the plan, plan to adapt.

This singular mantra sums up quickly and easily for your teams a basic principle of understanding that shit will hit the fan, but when it does acknowledge that there is a needed change and move in the direction you are brought to.

How often have you had your day or week change in an instant? Canceled appointments—if you are in sales and you have never been canceled on, work harder and pump that activity up—had a critical machine breakdown, had a truck cancel or miss-drop a delivery and beyond. I could truly go on for days with the problems you will face.

A good or even solid manager will have answers to these problems and a plan for follow on action. By being a solutions oriented person and having primary and secondary options to the original plan with proper motivating techniques for success and execution you will be a good manager.

In addition, managing tasks properly with the Eisenhower Matrix by utilizing your people around you to get things done efficiently and effectively will help the ball find paydirt.

Yep, it takes all this to be a good manager. It’s a lot, but worth the endeavor when your cheeks hit the manager's seat.

How to be Both

Now that discovery mode is over and we understand what it takes to fill those two specific roles, let’s wrap this sucker up and discuss how you can and will achieve both given the right opportunities and skills.

First, being a leader is tougher than I mentioned above because of the "affirmation of the help" piece of the puzzle. You want others to achieve, do well and enjoy the fruits of their labor—sometimes to a fault. Guess what—yep, I've done that so this comes from hard experience.

The natural inclination is to solve all the problems as needed, giving the ultimate support and uplifting stance to those you touch. Turning that key to becoming a good manager as well means you can fight the urge to give in when necessary. You can let your people fail gracefully and be supported, allowing them to build the process along the way.

You have to be willing to fight the inner calling to hop in the thick of it at times and lead the way—instead allowing the Eisenhower Matrix to take hold. You have to affirm their positions around and below you by giving them tasks and letting them run.

Managers must first define if they have that leadership quality of care and selflessness while keeping their nose to the grindstone as needed. Quite frankly the noses of their teams as well.

They have to show empathy for a cause, not just a single line to hold in the proverbial battle they find themselves in. Be flexible but firm, calculated but open.

Not anyone can manage, and not all can lead. The truth is also flipped in that statement. Leaders must work to manage themselves and their time wisely. If stepping into a management role they must brush up on their attention to details and dive into the admin grind like Scrooge McDuck into a pile of gold doubloons.

As I said before, leaders can be managers and vice versa. Acknowledging who you are and what your limitations will be along the way is the only way to handle both.

If you are a manager, embrace leaders around you. If you are a leader on a team, solidify the standing of that manager—if not you—with your actions and undying support to the cause you are a part of.

There is no easy answer here, but it is simply a yes to all counts. Take time to evaluate yourself, speak with others around you in and outside of your organization to understand what they see. Take in the input and create better output. Become the role of both and you will be fulfilled beyond your wildest imagination. In fact, Walt Disney would be jealous.

Project Strength, Provide Peace

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 22:17:23 GMT

Projecting strength to provide peace is often a tougher balancing act than Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall. If indeed you fall off, no amount of king’s men or horses will get you back together.

At first, the thought of projecting strength will typically make us think of aggressive or borderline careless actions that prove value and a “don’t tread on me” mentality. The bouncer at the bar archetype, or the warfighter sitting on the line waiting to present evil with evil to champion the good.

I've been both. Along the way in life I have also sought to prove strength with very little care or acknowledgement for peace.

It’s the whole “fuck around and find out” concept that has become popular as of late. Quite honestly, most often instead of aggression being and projecting strength, I would venture to say it leads towards a weakened stance that doesn’t create or provide peace.

“Peace through strength” is a phrase that is repeated by government leadership when speaking of war avoidance and to make the argument for more arms and stores build-up for weaponry to create a safe stance. Made famous by Ronald Reagan in the 80’s , the phrase has been around for quite some time. but what exactly does that phrase mean when analyzed deeper?

As well, how can that somewhat common phrase make sense beyond just wartime strategy and be applied to your daily life as you look for ways to ensure your position in community, your relationship, that your career is secured in the way you would like, presenting the results that you seek?

Projecting strength to provide peace is often a tougher balancing act than Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall. If indeed you fall off, no amount of king’s men or horses will get you back together.

In a recent discussion with a good friend of mine we spoke to this tough role in life, in manhood and how stabilizing the expected role we all fit in a community is a hard dichotomy to figure out, if ever at all.

How can I show strength but also show a caring heart? How can I be a great leader, but also manage those expectations and limitations set forth?

The first step is to take a deep diving effort to open communication and discussion throughout every scenario you face. In doing so you must always present fact-based truth, openness and honesty as well as a dose of humility. Understanding that our answers to questions aren’t always correct or could differ from others opinions is a cornerstone of this communication.

The second step is controlling reaction while maintaining a firm position of standing. Be accepting of others, their ideas and embrace their differences and uniqueness. Show strength not through aggression or power, but through understanding and discernment.

One of the truest statements you will hear is “start yelling and I shut down.” That is virtually everyone.

In my younger years going through sports to the collegiate level and then the Navy it became second nature to pop-off and show strength through the power my personality possessed and could flex. Truthfully, often that “strength” was showing my true weakness—my inability to cope and listen. My fear of change and adaptation. The fear of not being correct when being wrong is so often layered with failure.

The minute I began to understand that failure was growth, that being wrong meant I could learn more and happily from others where maybe my assumed facts or knowledge had holes—I finally began to truly win.

As a leader my best results have come when people felt heard—when they felt at peace to discuss things openly and honestly at all times. Despite my command presence in meetings or in the market, when my people needed me they could rely on me. Always.

That goes for anyone in my circle and those I care for. That includes and leads with bringing a peaceful, caring and defined demeanor to discussions. It is solidified by listening to everyone around you by providing them a voice and a listening, caring heart to help guide those discussions toward growth.

We all make mistakes. We all will show anger at times, but when we begin to sit back, analyze and open our hearts for discussion the need for control dissolves and the true base for providing the light we should all seek to show will be evident.

No good leader, coach, manager or beyond can do things alone or with their thoughts and plans alone. We all need others to provide support and to foster a community and a world we want to see that can exert strength while providing peace to the people and the things we touch.

Our world is surrounded by hate, by violence and constant threats of negativity or outright evil. Understanding how you can effect some change by simply listening and learning from others is a key to helping provide the growth your sphere of influence needs.

I would encourage you to begin the next discussion you have with a subordinate, a boss, with a friend or significant other with an open heart for dialogue. One that will be willing to learn and engage in a healthy way to ensure your best impact is being made.

We all can provide a stance of aggression, but the true strength will come from the peace we provide with the right approach for change resulting in the growth we all need.

How To Change Your Stars

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 16:19:15 GMT

We can be on-path but walking in the ditch—I finally woke up and shifted to the sidewalk.

If you know me well, you know that I love rom-coms. One of my favorites is a classic from 2001, A Knight’s Tale starring Heath Ledger as William Thatcher and eventually taking on the role Sir Ulrich von Liechtenstein.

In the movie an exchange between himself and his father is often quoted, and quite frankly it is one of the best quotes I have ever encountered.

A young William looks to his father and says “Can it be done father, can a man change his stars?” His father John Thatcher confidently replies “Yes William. If he believes enough, a man can do anything.”

That inspiration and “changing his stars” is the major theme of the film. Obviously jousting in tournaments and knighthood are no longer major players in society, but opportunity for change is there for anyone looking for it. To do it you have to recognize and find your “Why” , and then be willing to make hard choices to change daily patterns to shift your future and write the book of your life with intention.

A common theme of “feeling stuck” is one that will resonate with anyone you speak with. At some point in time during life we have all become stuck, and at that point you feel completely vulnerable–a victim of your circumstance.

Vulnerability I would argue is a good trait. One that shows openness and willingness to show the pages of your book to everyone despite the assumed disgust or judgment to follow.

Almost always when you do, you receive acceptance because we have all faced failure, been stuck, have fears or made decisions we aren’t personally proud of—but all of it is what makes you unique and your “book” worth reading.

Will some look on and judge? Absolutely they will–but those are the same people that will dictate your inability to change your stars. We all want affirmation and confirmation. Those two things quickly and often will dictate your future choices ensuring they are never your own.

Think about it–how often have you bought that car, dress, watch or sunglasses just so others saw the branding? Imagine what other seemingly small or obscure decisions you make that impact you because of what others may think or say about you.

I have been a King of bad decisions based on the assumed affect it would have on how others viewed me. I have done all the things to make myself feel as if those that looked on saw greatness. At times it has been achieved on the “cover” of my book.

What they saw was a broken, fallible shell of a man seeking growth by cutting myself off at the knees constantly. Granted, I have a wonderful watch collection I gained along the way which I truly enjoy. I have a vehicle that I often dreamed of owning as a kid and love the way it drives in the corners, not just the heads it may possibly turn to my direction.

The difference has come when I began to appreciate those things for myself alone, and then shifted my focus towards having the best lasting impact that mattered. How could I, and can I make everyone and everything I touch better than it was found at point of contact.

Along the way hurt and pain was delivered through selfishness. Changing my stars seemed impossible and was improbable for so long. As I shifted that thinking away from self assurance my heart opened deeper than ever expected and the clarity of the path I walked on became clearer than ever.

We can be on-path but walking in the ditch—I finally woke up and shifted to the sidewalk.

In the book by Darren Hardy “The Compound Effect” he speaks to small daily changes that lead to massive results. One of my often quoted and favorite stories he alludes to is the Magic Penny.

In the example he asked, “If you were given a choice between taking $3 million in cash this very instant and a single penny that doubles in value every day for 31 days, which would you choose?”

After 31 days of compounding itself, the penny on day one is $10.7 million dollars on day 31. Absolutely nuts right? Not really when you analyze it. Sometimes the simplest change in tasks will create massive moves over time.

So the simple question here is which would you choose? Surely taking a small fortune now would be awesome for anyone. Invested and planned properly it would go to good use and ensure future generations a safety net if planned out properly.

The problem is without the patience, discipline and consistency that is shown in the latter of the two options, no amount of money or immediate gain will turn fruitful. Truthfully it would almost always end in disaster for the receiver.

Your lasting legacy is yours to script and live. It is your life you must sit with daily, sleep with and wake up to. How you change your stars is simple. It starts by recognizing that often the smallest changes in your daily activity will lead to massive change and the effect you leave on others.

It also takes a selflessness that looks beyond what you want others to see and what you actually want to be. There is no wrong answer to who that person or story will become, but the sooner you realize that the answer is yes, a person can change their stars, the sooner your life and heart will be filled with the completeness you desire leaving the legacy the world deserves to see.

Find Your Why, Stop Living the Why Not

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 15:42:47 GMT

No matter what your good or service, no matter how “good” you see yourself and life to be, without a purpose and that “why” you are failing yourself and everything you touch.

How often do you wake up seeking to be comfortable? I would argue it is one of the most overused and abused words we have in our language arsenal. Comfort is an overrated and lazy pursuit.

Being comfortable is choosing the “Why Not” in life instead of finding and focusing on your “Why.”

I have been a why not guy for a long time. Living the “why not” was an easy and lazy way out for me to achieve mediocrity for myself despite some excellence in results for others around me in the businesses and communities that I touched.

Having a “why”, a focus with a definitive map for your decisions is a must for our nature. It becomes self destructive without one and will create the “why not” to occur.

Situational awareness is a term often used in the military to represent the understanding of your surroundings and immediate reaction needed for successful response. In life you use risk analysis to determine actions based on that situational awareness.

We all have our values and morals that drive our risk analysis and responses–often without critical thinking involved. If we simply rely on what makes us feel good, on self-care to determine that response, we fail. You have to separate from the “why not” destruction and find the “why” to champion your success in all aspects of life creating the legacy and sphere of influence the world you touch and affect deserves.

Think about where you sit today with your role in life, your business, job and even family. Are you scripting your daily activity for yourself, or is there someone else driving that vision? Are you living in reaction, or defining what results you are seeking despite daily changes and challenges to the plan?

No matter what occupies your time you have a choice to be a “why” or a “why not” guy or gal.

For a business to succeed it must provide vision to its client base as well as its personnel. The Human Capital inside any organization is arguably the most valuable asset, but it is also the most unpredictable. Machines break, supply chains have hiccups, tech can go awry at times with updates to software or hardware, but the looming problems are predictable with scripted fixes.

Oftentimes with personnel when things go off path it seems like people are making the wrong decisions. At times it almost seems purposefully detrimental to the cause, and likely an attempt to create some sort of change.

I would argue that the leadership has lost direction and turned their employees into “why not” folks because they have lost the “why.”

In life however, you are that leader. You decide for yourself what your purpose is, what your focus and drive will be or become, and the following results you create through action.

This affects sports teams, businesses and at a very granular level communities, families and friends. In business it will lose your company money, create a culture that is toxic and push your business and life into atrophy.

In “The Purpose Driven Business: Why Your Mission Matters” Jan Bruce quotes Venture Capitalist Tony Tjan saying “It turns out there are many ways to make a billion dollars: real estate, investing, gaming and entertainment, retail, technology, and good old fashioned inheritance. But the most interesting (and most respected) businesses and personalities are also the ones with the strongest and most authentic purposes behind them.”

No matter what your good or service, no matter how “good” you see yourself and life to be, without a purpose and that “why” you are failing yourself and everything you touch.

Finding your “why” in business is usually an easily defined process. Understanding your product and client base is the start, then finding the focus of how your business or product fits that role in the market creates the “why.” After that come mission statements, your business “Ten Commandments” or “Bill of Rights” if you will and voila! Product goes to market with defined why’s for personnel, and clients will see the vision and value what you bring to the table.

One of the most overlooked and often undervalued “why’s” is yours personally. Finding what defines you, defines the legacy you want and the daily impact you have is sometimes seemingly impossible.

I have been there–more times than I can count or honestly willing to admit. I have chased the lazy and easy by just saying, “why not, fuck it” all too often. It is what leads us to a path determined by self-care and self assurance with a lack of understanding how destructive it is to ourselves and everything you touch.

I stated above that comfort is lazy–because it is. Being snug as a bug in a rug while you just take an easy path to obesity, alcoholism, drug abuse or the like is selfishness being defined by your life decisions. What I listed may seem extreme to some, but the easy path could be much simpler and is often less obvious.

At times we view failure in that list above, but I would counter without failure there is no learning. I don't see those things as failure because failure with intent is good.

You can’t fail if you don’t first try, and without trying you are becoming a “why not” living in self pity and surely will not have growth. I would rather be a failure 100 times over than be considered lazy or full of inaction.

There are many variables in life you will not control–things that you have no say in what happens to you. How you react is up to you, but without a “why” to determine your focus and results, you will slide into the “why not” and never produce the results and impact the world deserves around you.

Sure, you can find success, you can live easy and still win–but something will always be missing. That feeling in your guts won’t go away.

Do yourself a favor today–find your why and stop living in the “why not” space in your head, heart and life. Those around you will see change, you will feel the change and the fulfillment that will follow will produce results with more intention and growth than you ever imagined.

When You Fail, You Win

Wed, 13 Sep 2023 19:59:26 GMT

What chance are you not taking because of the fear of failure? What success story won’t be written by you because of this inaction?

I get it. The title of today’s discovery seems to be a diametric opposition of itself, but as we dig in you will quickly be able to identify how you can fail and always still win.

First, understand that teamwork truly does, and always will make the dream work.

One of the basic needs as a human is teamwork, and a major survival skill is compromise for the common good. Community is a consistent apparent theme in history as we study civilizations and look to them as an example of this.

We focus on how people socially interact, develop societies and eventually lead to where we are today—more advanced, free and free-thinking than ever before. Still, we operate in the system with our everyday lives where we inherently fit into a role on the “team” that is the community we live, work and play in.

In the book Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect by Matthew Lieberman—renowned psychologist and professor at UCLA—points to how we are hard wired for social interaction, even diving into education and how we could structure our learning differently for social growth during middle school transition years.

Lieberman points out “that becoming more socially connected is essential to our survival. In a sense, evolution has made bets at each step that the best way to make us more successful is to make us more social.”

So clearly, we have an understanding that teamwork does indeed make the dreamwork by building societies. We rely on the community to be artisans, build roads, be teachers, doctors and lawyers for each other.

All this known, it is time to begin embracing failure. Failure is your greatest teacher, your greatest asset of growth and the trigger that can always be used to drive innovation further.

Our world relies on failure for growth. You as an individual rely on it. The easiest way to learn not to touch the stove top is to touch the stove top—the quicker you acknowledge that simple principle will be when you truly can begin to grow.

David Goggins told the story recently at a seminar of the man seeing the “what if” of life after death. The “ It’s a Wonderful Life ” concept but instead of not being around, you just didn’t do what you could when you should to achieve your personal greatness.

That is a heartbreaking, gut punching scenario. Imagine living through the “what if” movie of your life, seeing all you could have accomplished and missed. Now think of all the times you didn’t pull the trigger because of fear of repercussions and failing.

The fear of failure is a real, paralyzing feeling. Looking like you made a bad decision in front of peers, failing in front of your community is a big enough detractor for most people.

So don’t be most people.

Start prepping for the race, begin creating that business plan, try out for the team or play that you keep putting off. No matter what the result is, you won’t know if you don’t try. In the end, the failure may be the best thing that ever happened.

Look at Thomas Edison, inventor of the incandescent light bulb and holder of 1,093 United States patents. He made his largest life impact on the world based on continued failures that he learned from.

He famously said “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” He lived by four key principles his mother bestowed upon him at an early age—most notably being “Never get discouraged if you fail. Learn from it. Keep trying.”

There are numerous names in history that contributed to electricity and the development of its usage, but Edison was a major player that admitted his failures openly and showed without them there would be no growth—no gain.

You must be willing to step out and take chances, be bold and push for personal achievement. You never know what your true impact is on your sphere of influence—those that are around you daily. Some you know and talk to, others are just people that you have contact with that you may otherwise not recognize being a part of that sphere, but they are.

Be the influence that is a doer, a person that embraces the try. Be an inspiration to those around you and possibly change the world. At the very least it will change yours. You owe it to yourself and everyone around you to try, to fail and grow. To become a better version of you today than yesterday.

What chance are you not taking because of the fear of failure? What success story won’t be written by you because of this inaction?

Tie the laces and get to work, it’s time to live the life meant for you and the community around you.

A Letter to Us—How Have We Forgotten?

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 12:57:27 GMT

Be thankful for daily freedoms, talk to your neighbor, smile at each other in the grocery store, use the name on the nametag at checkout.

It was a clear, warm September day like any other. Satsuma was set to take on Baker in our annual “which team sucks worse” battle of the 6A bottom feeders in Mobile County, Alabama high school football that Friday, and I was set to make my home debut as the firmly entrenched starting punter and placekicker for the mighty Satsuma Gators. Big moves folks.

Then, just 30 minutes of time passes, and our lives change drastically and dramatically forever. My question is, how have we forgotten?

We have forgotten to care for our communities, love one another and find the common good in each other. We have forgotten what it was like to have pride in ourselves, our community and our country. We have forgotten how a common cause, pause and reflective point in history changed how we viewed the world, its politics and religions.

It is easy to point to politics and figure heads and say “it’s them! It is all THEIR fault with the division they create.” The same goes for the pulpit and platforms.

No, my friends, it is us. It’s us who allow argumentative tones to lead our conversations that should instead celebrate our differences, not divide us by them.

We had a point in history where what mattered more than anything was understanding what it was like to have a common cause, a common good and belief underneath us again as a country and people.

So many Americans perished that day by just going to work or hopping in a plane for a regular day in the air. Following that many of our friends, brothers, sisters, partners and parents have gone to war—some making the ultimate sacrifice in hopes our country would never face another day where people at their desks on a conference call perish because they simply show up to the office.

As a kid I was fascinated by military history. The stories of Revolution, the Civil War, World War Two, Vietnam and Korea. I never imagined my generation, or myself, would be thrust into a world where war was an assumed normal. Those were supposed to be times long passed.

I remember watching videos of father’s and mother’s, brother’s and sister’s leaping to their deaths to avoid the flames of the Twin Towers post air strike. I can still see the towers fall when I close my eyes. I recall the story well of Flight 93 and the brave souls that fought back to bring that plane to the ground in Shanksville, Pa.

So much despair was felt that day, but in the coming weeks and months we found hope. We need to find it again.

What made September 11 ^th , 2001, so unique to America—to us as a people—was not just the number of deaths or the destruction from the tragedy. It was that everyday citizens living their seemingly ordinary lives can instantly be found in a war-like scenario at the blink of an eye.

We weren’t ready for that. We weren’t prepared for it. I told our principle of Satsuma at the time as we were prepping the school announcements that morning “There is no way someone bombed the Pentagon!” shortly after we heard of that news. I was wrong clearly, but that’s how surreal the events were. There was no way this was happening to us, to the USA.

We had our Pearl Harbor moment as a generation on September 11 ^th , 2001. The difference was that everyday citizens became warriors that day and beyond. We united and found community in being American again. We loved our neighbors and rekindled a fire that built this great nation.

Unfortunately, we have squandered and divided ourselves instead of utilizing the movement. We are likely further apart than ever before as a country, but not today. Today should bring us back together.

Remember where you were, watching the towers fall and remember that feeling you had that day. Be thankful for daily freedoms, talk to your neighbor, smile at each other in the grocery store, use the name on the nametag at checkout.

Today is a somber day of reflection for our country and those lost. It also needs to be a day of thankfulness and pride as we still live in the greatest country in history with more freedom and opportunity than ever seen before. Embrace our good, focus on fixing our bad and return to the time where community mattered, let freedom ring!

Never Forget.

Make your Ordinary Life Become EXTRA-Ordinary

Fri, 08 Sep 2023 15:21:00 GMT

The Wright Brothers had nothing but imagination and guts—they proved the theory of man-made flight. What’s your excuse?

Let me tell you about excuses—we all have them and usually will employ them often. Think about it. Some are small and unessential, while others can lead to massive issues and roadblocks for yourself and those around you.

I have used excuses more often than I would like to admit and I have been a quitter. I have also lived and been a part of EXTRA-ordinary things, but I am simply just an ordinary dude. So, what takes ordinary to extraordinary?

Often when we think of the word “extraordinary” our thoughts go towards amazingly gifted people in history. Usain Bolt, the fastest human on Earth comes to mind. As do names like Albert Einstein and Nikola Tesla.

All are amazing people that did extraordinary, seemingly impossible things.

Their accomplishments were at the time otherworldly, but when we look at history most of the massive changes are created by ordinary people.

Folks like you and me.

Nothing was crazy special about anything other than the accomplishment that changed the world and scope of human history.

Look no further than the Wright Brothers for a perfect example of history being changed by two seemingly ordinary and basic guys.

Orville and Wilbur came from a humble background growing up in a family with five total children. Their father was a minister—most times a traveling minister. Their mother battled sickness for years throughout their later childhood and teenage years, eventually passing away at the age of 58 due to tuberculosis. It was 14 years before the Wright Brothers’ first flight.

History tells us they were both mechanically inclined and fascinated from an early age with avionics after their father returned from a trip and gifted them a toy helicopter. At times they would even create inventions in grade school and beyond as David McCullough points out in his book The Wright Brothers .

McCullough refers to Ida Palmer, Orville Wright’s first grade teacher to point to the ingenuity. She “would remember him at his desk tinkering with bits of wood. Asked what he was up to, he told her he was making a machine of a kind that he and his brother were going to fly someday.”

There was never formal training that later came in mechanics or engineering, no illustrious degree from a major institution.

Instead, Orville and Wilbur started a printing press before Orville finished high school. Eventually, they got into the bicycle business in the spring of 1893, opening the Wright Cycle Exchange just steps from their home at 1005 West Third Street, Dayton, Ohio.

Wilbur was prepping for a possible run at Yale around the same time, but a hockey accident left him without front teeth and severe trauma to his jaw that led him to become reclused for years.

Interestingly the stick strike to the head was at the hands of Oliver Crook Haugh. Haugh, as McCullough points out, “was executed (in 1906) for the murders of his mother, father, and brother, and was believed to have killed as many as a dozen others besides.” He was one of Ohio’s early serial killers.

Despite the severe medial setback that led to his pull from society, he dove into books and study, continuing to kindle his fascination with flight.

By 1900 the brothers had done enough self-study and investigation on previous glider and kite designs, engineering, and meteorology that they settled on Kitty Hawk, North Carolina on the Outer Banks as the perfect place for testing and eventual man-made flight.

During their years of trials leading into the first successful glider tests they studied birds intimately mocking their movements, trying to understand and decipher the art of air navigation. At one point in McCullough’s writing, he quotes a local, John Daniels, as saying “we couldn’t help thinking they were just a pair of poor nuts. They’d stand on the beach for hours at a time just looking at the gulls flying, soaring, dipping.”

It was a common understanding “that man can’t fly” according to the Washington Post at the time. People thought it was a bat-shit crazy idea and the Wright’s fell into that category.

As well, McCullough points out “they had no college education, no formal technical training, no experience working with anyone other than themselves, no friends in high places, no financial backers, no government subsidies, and little to no money of their own.”

Talk about haters and having every single odd stacked against you and your dreams.

Despite all this, the Wright Brothers are some of the world’s most famous set of siblings, and two of America’s greatest sons. They changed the course of human history as just ordinary dudes accomplishing EXTRA-ordinary things.

I have been in the draft room for the Jacksonville Jaguars for pick one of the NFL Draft. I have driven in cars worth the price of homes and experienced Chief Osceola plant his spear on the 50-yard line from the playing field at Florida State. I earned my Enlisted Surface Warfare Specialist pin in the Navy in record time, utilizing four sleepless days to make an unrelenting push to achieve the goal. It was expected to take no less than six months to qualify once started, but with my team and shipmates—hat tip to USN Gunner’s Federico, Patten, and Gillispie—I finished in a week. Seven days.

All simply amazing and extraordinary experiences that this ordinary dude has had.

I helped grow a concept, a literal bar napkin business plan into a major player in its industry. When I departed, we were in the top .01% of products sold by volume. There are 9000+ businesses in said industry.

I’m still just an ordinary guy that helped achieve extraordinary things with other ordinary people that had EXTRA-ordinary drive and passion.

Small consistent daily activity, planning, focus, a ton of guts and a drive that is unbreakable is all it takes.

Yeah, that’s all. No bigs. Seems impossible, but re-read above, it’s not. Far from it.

It takes imagination and vision to push through the noise of haters and stick to the plan. It takes focus and drive to push through your “I cant’s” on the way to finding the “I cans” inherently built inside of you.

Be like the Wright Brothers and find the depth in your character to push yourself to be extraordinary. Become the difference, make your own history and live the extraordinary.

Clear Focus Creates Marked Results

Tue, 05 Sep 2023 13:04:20 GMT

Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!

Feeling lost is a sickening feeling. Quite frankly, it is worse than the feeling of being stuck. When teams have no direction, no plan, and no clear-cut way to achieve marked results they lose. Repeatedly.

Having a clear focus in your business and having marked results in front of your teams is an absolute must. So why is it so difficult for such a seemingly simple task to be executed?

I revert back to my initial posting about Communication and Consultation to point to the difficulties and fixes for you and your teams when it comes to communication.

Clearly everyone should have some type of goal or KPI system in place. Most, however, are built quickly and without a ton of depth. As well they are not often focused on skills application but purely profitability growth, and track towards who pays the most kickbacks as a supplier—no matter the type of sales or industry you are in this happens frequently.

Let’s change that today.

Sustainability is difficult, keeping your team with clear eyes and full hearts ensures you won’t lose.

Clear Focus

Being a former football player, the show Friday Night Lights that NBC ran back in the mid to late 2000’s was a must watch. The movie Varsity Blues , based on the same book, was ok, but the show was so much better. Outside of the teacher being a stripper and Billy Bob’s “I give it a 10!” scene, not much can be said in comparison of the movie being better than the show in my opinion.

Moving beyond film critiques, Coach Eric Taylor in the television adaptation—played by Kyle Chandler—has a saying he drops that goes “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.” The team repeats, “Can’t lose!”

Clear Eyes indicate a clear-cut vision, an understanding of the task forward. You have a plan, you plan to work, will work the plan then plan to adapt. Full Hearts shows buy in and passion for the task at hand. This represents a clear understanding of the vision and mission, with execution being the final and most glory filled of all tasks.

That leads to Can’t Lose . With a clear vision for your teams and full hearts that are willing to burn the boats to complete the task you simply can’t lose. There will be roadblocks, but that’s when you plan to adapt, and the vision set forth with full understanding and passion for the cause will lead to the marked results that you are seeking from yourself and your teams.

So, to break it all down, have task orientation for yourself and ensure you have a navigable plan. Relay that clearly—over and over with your teams. This should be a weekly evolution at minimum.

Where are we in relation to our goals? What roadblocks have we faced or expecting to face in the short term? How does this impact our daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly goals?

Create a free-flowing environment when it comes to communication and create buy in through relationship management with an understood and attainable vision. Get your marked results.

Marked Results

KPI’s are not rocket science. Anytime acronyms are thrown around it makes things seem of extreme importance and layered with an air of mystery. While KPI’s are vital, they should be simple and clear with a map for attainability for your teams.

This completion of a clear focus from the top down will build marked results. Making goals attainable but also challenging will build your best outcomes for you and your teams.

You want hungry people looking for growth, and you need to understand how every single goal—no matter how small—should contribute to massive growth at some point for the business. No single movement should ever be uselessly spent energy. Insert the compound effect.

When it comes to goal creation, ensure that you put some major homeruns on the goals sheet every term. Make sure these are quarterly, semi-annual or annual. If it is a long-term play, place kickers or triggers inside the short-term goal sheet that builds for your long-term output and results.

You want these to be constantly tracked and updated so that you stay “in the know” when it comes to the traction being built for goal attainment, and your teams need to feel like they are gaining ground on an otherwise seemingly long con. Most sales folks are not long term driven, so keeping the focus is a must.

While everyone should want to achieve lofty goals, you must find and build a roadmap even for those. If you ask for a task, be prepared to provide the vision from start to finish. Otherwise, trust is broken, and communication channels will become hazy.

This isn’t building rockets to Mars, it is simple, daily and manageable tasks that must be done. Take the steps, repeat them, find the compounding results you, your teams, your business and your life need.

Embrace the Suck, Don't Get Stuck

Thu, 31 Aug 2023 12:48:00 GMT

Pick up the book, add a few steps to your walking trail routine, leave a note in the morning under the coffee cup for your significant other saying “I love you”. Simple, small changes in activity will lead to massive change.

No Pain, No Gain. How often have you heard that before?

I have read it on many gym walls, heard it booming during workouts by the seemingly animalistic beasts yelling at you to work harder and lift more than you expected of yourself. There is even an amazing movie—inspired by a true story I might add— Pain and Gain following this mantra.

This canned phrase comes from a basic principle—to grow in life you must face the consequences of the pain it takes to get there.

It’s time to embrace the suck so that you don’t get stuck.

Some growth points are harder than others, clearly. Look at the SEAL training photo used for the cover of this writing—those boys are having the hardest time of their lives. For right then anyway. It is unapologetically going to get harder for the sailors in the photo getting “wet and sandy” as they call it on Coronado Beach.

In the military before difficult evolutions often “easy day” is said mocking the toughness you face while embracing the grit needed to push through the experience. “The only easy day was yesterday” is another.

But what does all this mean? Who cares about sayings and phrases, right?

Wrong my friend. Cheering yourself on is a thing. Having others uplift you is also a major boost to morale and performance. These sayings help tackle the tough tasks and achieve success. Belief in change and development is a major driver and these cheers help achieve it.

Most often in life we aren’t in the gym. We aren’t on the beach getting “wet and sandy” with our fellow shipmates trying to achieve something so few often do. Often change is small and the daily “suck” you must embrace isn’t as bad as you’d expect.

In The Compound Effect Darren Hardy addresses this directly. In the book he utilizes multiple real-life examples where small, daily change has led to major outcomes over time. One great example is the experience of Beverly.

Beverly was in sales with Darren’s company and began speaking to him about a friend running a half marathon and how it was something impossible for her to achieve because of her stamina and current weight.

Despite all the roadblocks she faced she began to utilize “The Compound Effect” to help achieve her goal of matching her friend in a half marathon. Darren advised Beverly to begin by mapping a mile loop around her house and then “told her to walk the loop three times over a period of two weeks.”

Small goals building a monster habit bringing extreme change.

Soon Beverly began to jog some of the mile instead of just walking. She then added a minimalistic number of steps to the route each day after she began completing the full mile as a jog. After nine months she was running 13.5 miles multiple times a week.

Two other great examples used by Hardy are the compounding penny—give me three million dollars today or compound a penny over 31 days, it becomes over $10 million by day 31 by the way—and the example of the three friends Brad, Larry and Scott.

The compound penny is obvious, the friend’s look-in is a little more subtle.

Brad is the friend that buys the new TV, has the best toys in the garage and champions the latest and greatest recipes from the Food Network. Larry sticks to his usual routine, but Scott decides he wants a little change in life.

While Brad is enjoying the niceties of life, he only has increased calories by 125 a day. Small potatoes, right? Wrong.

That extra 125 calories over 31 months leads to 33.5 more pounds in a little over two years. His habits are snowballing away from success and fulfillment. His new found time sitting in front of the 75” TV isn’t all that bad, after all he is watching documentaries and the news. Wrong again.

He is caught up on current events, but his daily attitude is affected by the downtrodden headlines and his professional development has come to a halt in the past 31 months. As well, his relationship has fallen away as his attention and focus isn’t on growth or upliftment of others but playing with his newest hobby based in the garage. His focus is all on himself and his immediate wants, creating disconnection and causing Brad to become demotivated. He feels STUCK.

As for Larry, he isn’t that far behind and is likely a sounding board for Brad as he bitches about his wife, how bad work-life balance has gotten, and how he really hasn’t changed much in life, but getting older has brought on an uncomfortable number of extra pounds killing a lot of his self-esteem.

Then we have Scott. Scott wanted to change, and in the example Hardy uses, he changed very little. Over 31 months he consumed 125 less calories, began reading daily and started self-development studies, and he began exercising a few more days a week.

By month 31 Scott has lost weight, his marriage is better than ever, and he recently received a promotion due to his professional development that was a personal choice, not a demand.

Scott clearly is better off three years later than his buddies Larry and Brad. Scott probably doesn’t hang around those boys much anymore, he is seeking growth not stagnation.

When you look at your life, where can you cut 125 calories? When can you add the extra steps that lead you to running the half-marathon of life comfortably?

I know it all sounds simple, but it truly is that simple.

What if it’s a little bigger? What if it’s time to change jobs or leave a toxic relationship? It is still that simple.

Small, daily changes in your life will compound and lead to massive growth and change. If you are feeling “stuck” right now it sucks—plain and simple. Equally, it’s your choice to be there. To reach the highest mountain peak you must start by taking a single step forward.

Pick up the book, add a few steps to your walking trail routine, leave a note in the morning under the coffee cup for your significant other saying “I love you”. Simple, small changes in activity will lead to massive change.

You and everyone you touch will be better for it.

Don’t be an Eeyore, Bounce like a Tigger

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 15:52:58 GMT

If you are a leader, a coach, a teacher, a partner, a parent, pretty much any phase of life, you must be able to shut out the Eeyore attitude and wear the Tigger cape.

Growing up I was a Winnie the Pooh fan. Most of us were I would venture to say if you fall in or around my age bracket. The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh was my jam from the ages of four to seven when it aired.

I would also assume that you all know Winnie the Pooh and the characters found inside the pages and in the cartoons, with two of the prominent characters being Eeyore, our faithful Donkey, and Tigger, the energetic “one of kind” stuffed Tiger.

Thinking we are on the same page here with character identification, I will say this very clearly and simply—don’t be an Eeyore, bounce like a Tigger in life and in your business, always.

I realize that we all have Eeyore in us from time to time, and that’s ok. It’s ok to have a melancholy day, think and feel through a sad or depressing situation and truly hit all points of the emotional spectrum. After all, we were created that way—to feel. Both the good and the bad. You can’t recognize wins without understanding loss, so it all tracks here.

If you are a leader, a coach, a teacher, a partner, a parent, pretty much any phase of life, you must be able to shut out the Eeyore attitude and wear the Tigger cape.

For leadership this is a no-brainer. In my previous post Culture: Why it Matters I speak to leadership and how your culture comes from the top down. Being energetic, having courage and belief in yourself, teams and mission is a must. It’s the only way to form a strong and viable culture.

There will be bad days. There will be things that go wrong, usually daily. How you address those problems and stand tall for your teams, friends, co-workers, partner or kids is critical. Again, it is ok to feel, it’s not ok to make yourself ineffective because of emotion.

We all know the Eeyore types that bring problems to every scenario and every solution. Albert Einstein famously said “Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.” Think about that. Think about when you have been the problem and solutions didn’t matter. How did it affect those around you, and better yet how did it affect you personally?

I will climb out on a limb and say that it served you and your sphere of influence terribly.

The other side of this coin is how to deal with negatives in your life that you can’t change. Surely you have co-workers or others that are always in Eeyore mode. There is always a negative happening in their life or in how they view the immediate future. They are the gossipers, the passive-aggressive types that say, “well I am ok with it, but Jim won’t be.”

When you can’t change them or their thinking, limit exposure as often as possible. Bounce around them like Tigger but don’t get bogged down in the bullshit. Anyone who takes an “I can’t” or an “I won’t” stance is a failure and a cancer to your culture and attitude. Most often those are tough or impossible patterns to change or fix.

These people will exist. When they do match the negative energy with positive approaches. Work to create at minimum a net zero environment. It is easy to accept failure, recognize issues and sit in the “I told you so” seat.

It is hard and arduous to lead from example, create a culture of growth and push yourself and those around you beyond boundaries that have been previously set by yourself or standards that get in the way.

You must have balance, the yin and yang if you will. Understanding that you set your tone and approach is the fastest way to bring about positive change. Being an Eeyore won’t get you there, it will grind you and your projects to a hard halt. Being a Tigger will provide the energy and positivity to keep it flowing.

On Tigger’s Wikipedia page it describes the character as being “Cheerful, outgoing, competitive in a friendly way, and has complete confidence in himself.”

There are times we may remember Tigger as being a bit outlandish and sometimes exaggerating his moments of glory, but his Wiki page goes on to point out that his claim that Tigger’s “never get lost” is confirmed by his ability to hunt down Rabbit in the forest despite a thick fog hiding the trail in the featured film Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too .

Don’t let the foggy trail and others seeming doubt or lack of a plan change your mission or divert you from your goal.

Embrace being the Tigger and avoid being the Eeyore, you will bounce higher and further than you ever imagined.

Communication and Consultation

Sun, 27 Aug 2023 14:19:56 GMT

One of the biggest challenges in life is communication, but why? Shouldn’t it be easy? After all, it’s just speaking—or is it?

Do you and your teams have a great, open line of communication? Do you have regular, weekly consultations with progress reports and updates on production, execution and market wins or losses?

For that matter, as an employee, are you reaching out to leadership and bridging the communication gap that exists? As a team member are you asking for guidance when the instructions are unclear?

Keeping clear and concise communication with all channels of your life is massively important. Equally important is the consultation that occurs within communication as you constantly set and reset expectations and ensure the goal is being achieved daily.

James Williams in How to Read People Like a Book speaks on the power of personality analysis and body language in communication. The book is a quick guide on personality types and helps the reader understand how non-verbal cues can affect communication, as well as how to point out and understand different personalities and how to effectively communicate with them.

At one point Williams says “One thing you have to understand … is that you can’t box people into single communication styles. People change the way they communicate based on the results they want to get and will change depending on their life situation and environment.”

Finding a “baseline” in a person’s reactions and communication style is critical to good, concise and clear communication. Once you find it, then you can identify what stance is being taken and how to address it effectively. Without getting to know people, you can’t know their baseline.

Moving forward let’s dive into how leadership can improve how they communicate and create accountability, as well as how team members can ensure their voice is heard while not feeling lost.

For Leadership

This seems like a simple concept—give instruction and that instruction is followed.

It’s never that easy. The human capital element of your business is the single most important engine in any company. The problem for most is that the human capital asset is the most unpredictable piece of the business.

People have feelings, bad days, their own thoughts, processes and beyond. As a leader your role is not only finding the right cheeks for the right seats—the right fits—but it is also your role to find ways to adapt your style and approach to fit the current roster you are working with.

Want a quick lesson in leadership adaptation with structure? Look no further than a high school football coach.

Every season a high school football coach approaches the season with a firm plan for defense, offense and special teams. They also have a plan for development and growth for the team at a position group and individual level.

The one thing they can’t control is personnel—the human capital.

College coaches face variables with personnel thanks to transfers, graduation and a handful of other issues. Pro coaches have issues as well with trades, contract negotiations and the like, but high school coaches have no options. Their roster is fed by a local city and parks platform—that’s about it.

As leaders they must be ultimate communicators. They also must be masters at consulting their teams and keeping track of progress and development.

Understanding a player’s background, personality and their “why” is a tough thing when that person is in their teens. High school coaches—no matter the sport—must learn what motivates the team at an individual and group level with little input in the development of the talent prior to arriving on roster.

It’s the same as being hired into a leadership position with a full roster and no opportunity to adjust—you simply must adapt and overcome.

No leader I know would raise their hand and volunteer to run a company with a team they can’t select or adapt, one that they must only mold and grow through coaching to success only. Talk about a tough job.

Take on the role of the high school coach and understand how to develop your team based on who they are and their “why”. The only way you can achieve that is by creating and maintaining communication.

Sometimes it’s very easy to disconnect a bit, especially with team members that seem self-assured and that are not in need of constant guiding or coaching. Be that as it may, learning about them individually should become the goal.

Despite the appearance of being “put together” there may be a disconnect based on role. Maybe this individual doesn’t want to bother the “boss”, be seen as needy or may be afraid to point to problems and communicate effectively. It happens constantly but as a leader your role is to clear the smoke from the air and make damn sure your people understand they can communicate with you.

You must find and build trust. Without trust there will be no clear communication. To build trust you listen and create solutions, are constantly available and have a common understanding that your people can rely on you.

If you aren’t comfortable being the wall for the arrows and open for business 24 hours, don’t step into the war that becomes leadership.

For Team’s

How many of you have bitched about leadership? You don’t have to raise your hand awkwardly and look around for approval like at the recent Presidential Debate, you know you have. Own it.

The question you must ask yourself is what did you do to help effect change in your organization? When you look at communication issues, at times they arise from the bottom up.

Have you asked the right questions to the right people? Have you looked at leadership and after receiving instruction when you have questions and sought out clarity?

It can be difficult in an organization to speak up, step outside of the pack and seek additional clarity or communication. Taking that step, however, puts you in a better position personally and professionally.

First, you broke a boundary for yourself toward personal growth. You have stepped out and separated from the pack. Second, leadership often recognizes and appreciates other leaders—no matter your current status.

In the Navy they referred to a magical aura that leaders have called command presence. It is when you walk in a room and every eye finds a way towards you. Where nothing has changed but the energy in space you now occupy, and that energy is you.

No matter if you are a line employee, mid-level manager or executive you can have this presence and energy. Knowing this and how to carry the confidence to speak out and guide communication is critical and could be a major development in your company or relationship growth.

All this to say, stepping out of your comfort zone and achieving communication channels with your leadership is critical and is on your plate just as much as theirs. Strong leadership is not always present, and even when it is those leaders are just like you—human capital. They make mistakes too.

There are daily distractions and numerous other items that pop up daily at the top. Understand that and keep the course of communication alive. It’s the heartbeat of the business’ success and growth.

How are you communicating with those around you? Not just at work, but in your sphere of daily influence?

Master communication, control your life.

Culture: Why It Matters

Wed, 23 Aug 2023 23:05:56 GMT

If your people suck, it’s because you suck. Fix yourself—heal your culture.

We have all been there. Floating, unsure of the future, feeling disconnected and lacking guidance or care. You feel stuck and there is no end in sight. Stuck is the worst place to be professionally and personally.

How do you avoid the “stuck” void that forms in your team and your company’s culture? For that matter why does culture matter and how does it affect results? Stick with me here and over the next few days it will all make sense, and the further we dig the more obvious the solutions will seem to be, but often they are overlooked.

Pointing back to history, one of the most dangerous roles in WW2 was that of a bomber crew over Europe. Books like Catch 22 from Joseph Heller—fictional as it may be—point to the insanity that seemed to be flying in a large aluminum aircraft over cities you can’t see as the enemy took target practice at you and the formations you flew in.

True accounts of the daring, seemingly endless raids on Germany are jotted down in Stephen Ambrose’s The Wild Blue: The Men and Boys who Flew the B-24’s Over Germany . He covers a few different airmen but focuses mainly on George McGovern , former United States Senator and pilot in the 455 ^th Bombardment Group, Fifteenth Air Force.

In the book Ambrose covers the experience of the air war perfectly. He paints pictures as well as Bob Ross on PBS Saturday’s. One of the focuses of this book and many others about military history show enormous trust, comradery, and reliance on one another to survive day to day and through the war.

On one mission, McGovern felt the right wheel of the landing gear blowout as they hit the air. He circled the airfield with options. He could jettison the aircraft safely after the crew bailed out or he could continue his mission and return with an emergency landing plan after the bombing run.

He chose the latter, and then offered to allow his crew to jump before the mission if they chose. All stayed aboard.

The trust at that point was enormous. First, their plane knowingly had a flaw, and they were headed to war. Second and more evidently, emergency landings on two wheels was not an optimal scenario upon return.

Despite this seemingly gloomy future for the crew, they went on to successfully bomb their target for this mission, an oil refinery in Odertal, Germany. On return they were again offered to bailout, but all declined, riding the two wheeled massive B-24 to the runway.

Miraculously McGovern is quoted by Ambrose as saying “We came down and I made the best landing I’d ever made in my life. I never made a landing like that before or since.” Ambrose goes further to quote McGovern as saying “That particular incident elevated my status for good in that group” in reference to the officer’s club and fellow fliers in the bomber force stationed together in Italy.

On a later mission his B-24 Liberator was decimated by flak. McGovern had to land the plane on a small island in the Adriatic Sea called the isle of Vis. It was half the runway needed to land as it was built for fighters, but it was the only option. Again, the crew was advised they could bailout of the plane—again, none did.

When McGovern brought the plane to a stop Ambrose says of the moment that “The men piled out of the plane. Half of them threw themselves on the ground and kissed it. That was the only time McGovern ever saw them do that. McGovern and (Bill) Rounds (his co-pilot) hugged each other.” McGovern received the Distinguished Flying Cross for this landing.

Through missions and extremely high stress an amazing air crew was built. McGovern and his crew had become incredibly close as most in combat do and had ultimate trust that each man was holding up their duty on missions. McGovern is one of the few that lasted the full 35 mission tour over Europe in 1944-45.

The trust that was shown time again came from leadership. In Ambrose’s piece on the bomber group, he displays the development of the leadership in McGovern and how the leadership overall was top-notch in the American military during the war and beyond.

Some of the best leaders in our country’s history are prior military and held leadership roles inside it. One of the toughest things to do is have another human willing to follow you to Hell. Men and women that figure out that spark become CEO’s, lead teams to championships and win wars.

While you and your team may not be deploying to a war zone next week, you must utilize the same principles to gain and maintain the trust that is on display often in military history. It is an easy model to point to because it is the highest point of stress with minimal immediate return to those that are involved—yet they fight on.

Do your people, your team, trust you? Do they feel supported and uplifted daily? Will they charge Hell with water pistols with you? Will you for them?

You have to build teams around you with a clear mission focus and understanding of direction that when the chance to bailout is given, they stay in the plane and know you will guide it safely to a stop even if it's just on two wheels.

If not, you and your business will not prevail, it will fail. In-fighting, gossip, lack of ownership and many other signs will begin to set in.

I see three very basic points that once we investigate a bit in the coming days will show how the climb from mediocrity to high performer is easier than it seems. How finding the right cheeks for the right seats and setting expectations with follow through is vitally important and basic for any business but often overlooked.

Morale matters, your human capital matters.

The three focus points we will hit are below. I look forward to diving deeper and helping remove the feeling of “stuck” from your teams if it exists, and help you bridge the gap and circumvent the void of leadership and management to the field.

Communication and Consultation

Clear Focus with Marked Goals

“Teamwork Makes the Dreamwork”

Work on Work, Work on You

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 20:04:26 GMT

Mediocre people hate high performers—Equally high performers hate mediocre people. Which one are you, and why?

The question seems simple—are you mediocre, or are you a high performer?

The problem is that most mediocre people think they are high performers, or they aren’t held to standards that lead to the awareness of mediocrity. This affects every business no matter the size. Is it your aunt that is handling your accounting duties and has you still behind on your business taxes from two years ago, or the team member hiding in the background doing just enough to go unnoticed on the production line?

Both may exist, likely at least one does, and they are killing your business.

It’s time to face the music and work on work while working on you.

Gene Chizik—current Defensive Coordinator for the University of North Carolina—led Auburn University to a second extremely improbable NCAA College Football National Championship in 2010.

Many point to Cam Newton as the cause of the title and there is no doubting his impact and Heisman winning season helped lead the charge, but without a coach and essentially CEO to the team, Auburn would have never made it through to the title win.

I was a writer at the time covering Auburn and I remember a theme that Chizik preached to his teams constantly—Work on Work. It was a phrase they used often to close out huddles ending practice. That has always stuck with me. You must be willing to constantly evolve, constantly get better and always look for growth in your professional life. In the end, always be willing to find opportunities to work on work.

There are times when you don’t want to develop professionally. For that matter the same can be said personally. That is what separates you from finding your best high performing self, and mediocrity.

To point to a rival of Chizik in his Auburn days, Nick Saban—Head Coach of the University of Alabama—has won numerous titles as head coach at Alabama. He is arguably the best college football coach in history. I once heard a speech he gave on how he built his teams.

In that speech he said, “mediocre performers hate high achievers, and high achievers hate mediocre performers.” Saban went on to say that the two “could not and would not” co-exist. He then went into the process that he uses to find those high achievers. This too stuck with me.

Shortly after I saw this speech, I was early in my executive leadership position and one of the most successful people I know personally, and have honestly ever met for that matter, told me “A leaders hire A players. Are you an A type leader or not?” This was during a severe ass chewing—that I rightly deserved I might add—where I had made the wrong decision on personnel.

Trust me, that hit harder than Chizik’s mantra and Saban’s words with me. Was I going to be middle of the pack, or did I have the guts to find the right people and push them to their limits and beyond finding the extra in the ordinary along the way.

I have been mediocre. I have done just enough to get by, been the guy chilling in the corner counting for the last minute to roll on so that extra customers couldn’t walk in the door. How shameful. What a waste that was.

Knowing that we are all going to have the ebb and flow of life where at times, you are mediocre, find the best in you, begin again to work on work, and work on yourself. Climb your way out of mediocrity.

It isn’t always easy and very rarely is. Times will come when those around you embrace the easy, after all it feels good to feel good. Despite that, equally it pays more to embrace the suck and face the pain of growth head on.

It’s up to you to choose—are you mediocre or will you seek excellence and demand yourself and those around you to be and stay high performers?

Good luck on the climb—it’s worth it.

Leadership is Lonely, Can You Carry the Load?

Sat, 19 Aug 2023 20:29:10 GMT

The Lonely Island was a hilarious band, but it's also a tough place to be. Leadership gets you there, your guts keep you there.

It doesn’t matter what your title is. When you find yourself in a leadership role, you have hit the hardest point of your personal and professional path.

It is easy to seek growth because of a paycheck. Everyone wants more things, more chances and more amazing dinners at their favorite chop house or sushi spot. The question is do you have the guts to make it and then take yourself out of the equation.

We all want excellence, but when you land in leadership you become the answer to every problem. No wiggle room here. Every failure is yours alone.

Conversely, you also never have full control or credit of the wins—you didn’t hit the numbers or goals alone. Can you be that selfless?

It is a tough road to walk, it’s the one Green Day was singing about.

I am a huge fan of history, mainly American history and specifically military history. It started as a kid watching Tales of the Gun and World War Two in Color with my dad on Saturday’s when the History Channel was brand new.

One of my favorite paintings is above: George Washington in “Washington Crossing the Delaware” painted by Emanuel Leutze in 1851. Washington is referred to as the Father of our Country amongst other things, and is famous for being revered in his time, a legend among men when he was still upright.

What isn’t often discussed is how far confidence had fallen in 1776 leading up to this daring charge across the Delaware to Trenton Christmas night, 1776. Prior to this epic crossing, Washington had even lost the confidence of his closest confidant, friend and right-hand man, Joseph Reed.

In “1776” by David McCullough the true state of the Continental Army at the time is explored. After the amazing battle at Bunker Hill in 1775 that led to 1,000 casualties of the King’s finest men, the cause for liberty was in full swing and George Washington was the selected leader of the newly formed United States Armed Forces.

Despite him setting expectations that he was “underqualified” for the role, he took the country and its army of ragtag farmers, doctors, lawyers, blacksmiths and beyond on his shoulders and led us to ultimate freedom in 1783.

1776, however, was a very tough year for Washington. Loss after loss piled up on the battlefield, and the pounding in Brooklyn by the British and Hessians during the New York Campaign in August of 1776 was devastating.

McCullough quotes a letter from Joseph Reed to General Charles Lee where Reed states in speaking of the New Jersey campaign and losses, “How often have I lamented it this campaign. All circumstances considered, we are in a very awful and alarming situation—one that requires the utmost wisdom and firmness of mind. As soon as the season will admit, I think yourself and some others should go to Congress and form the plan of the new army.” Lee was second in command of the Army at the time.

The war that had just begun for independence seemed lost by the man that ate, slept, fought and served directly alongside Washington in the war. He was Washington’s personal choice for secretary. At one point Reed had departed in 1775 and early 1776 for home to visit his wife and work on the farms and in his law practice. Washington sent letters begging for his return, it was of “utmost importance” to the success of the war.

Like many, Reed was worried that Washington was out over his ski’s and had reached a point where he was no longer fit to command such a daunting task as a war for independence. The Army was dropping volunteers like flies, and the Congress had not promised contracts beyond the end of the year to soldiers.

No one knows for sure what Washington’s thoughts were completely at the time leading into the Battle for Trenton and the daring river crossing that fateful Christmas night. Very little was written by Washington on his feelings outside of a handful of correspondence with his cousin, Lund Washington.

One thing is known, on November 30 ^th , as Washington awaited the arrival of General Lee and his men to help reinforce the lines outside of New York he received a letter addressed to his aid-de-camp, Joseph Reed. Assuming it to be war correspondence of importance, he opened the letter as Reed was back home on leave.

It was a letter from Lee to Reed answering Reed’s call for Lee to take over the Army. A response to a letter written by Washington’s right hand and friend claiming his inability to lead. Washington had to be emotionally crushed—no doubts here. However, his response was that of a true leader.

He closed the letter and then addressed his own to Reed before sending it off to him. Washington is quoted by McCullough as saying “Having no idea of its being a private letter… I opened it … This, as it is the truth, must be my excuse for seeing the contents of a letter which neither inclination or intention would have prompted me to.”

My guy just said to his friend, his confidant, I wish I didn’t know you wrote this about me bro. But it’s totally cool, my bad for seeing it. WHAT A LEADER.

Washington goes on to organize the crossing of the Delaware and following battle for Trenton with Nathanael Greene and Henry Knox—both amazing generals during the Revolutionary War.

The crossing was extremely bold and borderline nuts. It came during a terrible winter storm and a period of the year that most often armies would rest—not fight. They literally were pushing boats through blocks of ice.

Despite only one of three total parties landing on the attacking side of the river successfully, the Americans went on to route the Hessians holding the city at the time under the first on-field fight with Washington leading the charge. The rest as they say is history, and this battle—while small in scale—was the turning point of the war.

It gave morale back to the Army, and it showed the gumption and balls of the American Army. In “1776” McCullough quotes Nathanael Greene who served until the end of the war with Washington as saying, “He will be the deliverer of his own country.”

The tides can turn quickly from mortal end to skyrocketing success for you and your teams. Understand that you can and will be the face of failures. But just like Washington, you can be bold and keep pushing. Keep leading your teams and drive yourself forward.

In leadership you will always be the focus. Washington understood this and stood tall, showing little to no emotion throughout the war—even when he surely felt isolated and betrayed by a friend.

Cross the frozen river, help mark your own history. You have it in you to win, you have to face and understand the cost and recognize the selflessness it takes to lead. Never lose sight of the fact that as quickly as you gain you can lose and vice versa.

Be like Washington—when you see the criticism, digest it. Analyze it and the path, adjust as needed, but don’t fucking quit. Be bold and load the boats on Christmas.

Be the Solution, Never the Problem

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 01:42:10 GMT

The answer should always be yes, figure it out and own the solution.

One of the biggest energy vampires you will ever face is you or your teams’ excuses. Daily you will be challenged with problems—some big, some small—but the breakthrough is always the goal.

In sales, and for that matter in life, you are constantly in analysis mode. How you address that is how you finish the daily race. Did you pick what you had for dinner, or did someone else? Did you hit your goals on the schedule today, or did something distract you?

What’s your excuse? Forget it and get over it. Stop using it, find the solution.

Finishing daily tasks is critical, but acknowledging there will be obstacles and being prepared to know when and having the willingness to jump into the “ Plan to Adapt ” phase is critical.

Let’s take that a step further—be the solution to every problem that your client has every single day. One of the key points I drive home with my sales teams is always to become THE guy or gal for that client. If you are the answer or the finder of the answers always, you become as close and indispensable to the business as possible.

Think of it this way—let’s say that we are in the beer business, but after talking through a major presentation with a huge account you realize that your product mix doesn’t fit their profile and need. The best answer is to find a partner brand inside your distribution portfolio and pitch that as a win. It may not immediately affect your pockets, but it will down the line because you will earn trust.

Let’s keep going. What if you are with a financial firm and your portfolio doesn’t provide the best fit for the retirement or college plan you are looking to help build. The right answer here is the same—find a trusted counter part with the right fit and pass off the business.

Maybe it’s not even a direct sale, but a service that you have a connection to. Be the person that dials the phone for them, sends the intro e-meet e-mail, that bridges the gap from problem to solution. Fill the need as best possible. Again, the point here is to be the complete solution to your client base. Everyone wants to have a “guy”—be that.

The conviction to do the right thing for yourself and your client that I spoke about in my last entry pops up here. This is truly what separates you. Trust is critical, quite frankly it is a must to have with anyone that is buying your product or service.

The best way to earn that and to keep it is to always be reachable and willing to help. I make the joke I am like Motel 6; I always leave the light on. Take that mentality to heart and show it to your client base and teams. Watch your impact grow exponentially.

Third Rule of Sales: Listen 80%, speak 20%. The best practice is to talk a lot less and listen a whole lot more. How can you address the problem before you if you haven’t truly heard the symptoms? Diagnosing where your good or service fits for the client is only found by fully understanding the pain points you want to eliminate.

Plan to Work, Work the Plan, Plan to Adapt

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 13:30:56 GMT

Are you ready to burn the boats? You HAVE TO BE.

Plan to work, work the plan, plan to adapt.

What does that phrase mean? My teams have heard it spouted out a million times. I say this almost as much as my favorite moniker, Big Dog!

We are diving in, going deep into what it means to start your every move with a plan, understand that plan completely and then plan to adjust and throw it out at times.

My Captain in the Navy—Captain O’Connor (SW/AW) of the USS Rushmore, LSD 47 at the time—always had a favorite saying to yell as he forced us through our 5 a.m. PT sessions: Murphy’s Law exists, and he will show up. “Murphy is on the way shipmates; show him you don’t care and bring the pain and problems!” He would sing out like a whippoorwill on a Sunday morning.

This, however, didn’t remind me of those Sunday morning chirps in Satsuma, Ala. It pushed me to keep driving, keep running, keep doing the pushups because Murphy, some old engineer turned philosopher I had never heard of, wasn’t going to make this sailor quit.

To take yourself and your team to the next phase, you must plan to get there. But first, you must plan to work your nuts off. That’s phase one. Embrace it.

Plan to Work

The first step to every endeavor in life is planning to work. I know that seems basic, but how often are you prepared for the day?

Most people don’t start producing until well after the day has begun. I used to be one of those people. I would party claiming it was “a part of the game” and really getting started around 10 o’clock was acceptable. I am here to tell you now; it was stupid and despite my talent it kept me from being my best self-daily.

I could overcome and was good enough to be better than 8 out of 10 others in the business dragging ass hungover and waiting to start the party again. That was lazy and far from producing the results myself or those around me wanted. We sought and achieved excellence. To get there we had to plan to work.

Every day, it sounds simple, but PLAN TO WORK. Stop using excuses.

Yeah, you have a headache. Yes, you ran out of coffee. Sure, you and your significant other are fighting still from last night and your “head just isn’t in it today.” Stop that bullshit, tie up your laces and get to work. Nobody cares about your problems but you. Use the problems you see as fuel for your focus—not for excuses to underperform.

Work the Plan

The best athletes, performers, leaders and all winners have something in common—they work a PLAN. Michael Jordan didn’t get to six championships overnight. Tiger Woods didn’t just start stroking eagles, and George Washington didn’t appear in full military regalia and shoo off the British in the late 1700’s.

You must have a plan.

Start this small but build it out big. Start with making your bed daily and implementing morning planning meetings into your schedule. If you and your business are already full steam ahead, look at your current systems for planning and forecasting. Find the missing links that always show up in meetings and reviews.

What are the pain points? Find them, eliminate them by working the problem expectation into your plan.

I can’t tell you what your plan needs to be right now, I don’t know you and your business. Given the opportunity I can and will dig in and help find the answers to your problems, but quite frankly you know and feel them now. It’s why you are reading this.

Start small, work big. Build your plan for your day, week, month, 18-month, 24-month and 36-month focus. Know the road you are building or taking, experience the journey.

Plan to Adapt

I alluded to it earlier—Murphy’s Law exists and will always show its ugly mug. Most often it is when it is most inconvenient and unexpected.

The easiest thing to do for yourself and your business is to build a plan for you to achieve your goals. Truly, it is. You are planning your success forward. We all love to be successful.

But what happens when you get punched in the face by life, your employees, the no from the client you must have to hit payroll or make the mortgage? Everything changes.

Know that eventually everything will go wrong. The difference between continued success is your ability to look in the mirror like Michael Jackson and come to grips with who you are. Overweight? Hit the trails. Depressed? Find the why and face the demons. Have pain in your back? Take some Tylenol and move on, don’t bitch about it.

Being a leader isn’t easy. Guiding a team to success—even if it’s a team of one—is extremely difficult. You will face objections and obstacles. It is how you face them and conquer them that matters. Plan for them to exist and plan to keep pushing. Burn the boats, win the day.

Do you have the guts to keep pushing when it gets tough, and the plan breaks down? Do you have the right people? Find that drive and embrace the coming suck, it makes the win so much sweeter.

Second Rule of Sales —No means not right now.

Some of the best referrals I have ever had are from “no” clients. If you know that you are doing the right thing for the client and are fitting the best solution your conviction can’t let you fail. It won’t let the client fail.

Wear that conviction like a badge of honor and live that with pride. Do the best you can for yourself and everyone you can touch in the sphere of influence around you to bring a solution to the table.